OH MY GOSH! I just can't get through this in one piece can I!?! Misunderstandings, assumptions, bitterness, sensations of betrayal and love both falsly and truthfully placed. Everyone has a pocket full of advice whether it be from experience or not. Everyone has their own home remedies. Everyone wants things to stay the same, even the ones trying to promote change.
To avoid drama I simply pack up and leave. That's how I dodge the problem. Mitch and I talked about it. He and I share the same tactic. We're like captains aboard a submarine with a breeched hull. Something got through and we're taking on water. The sub is still okay, but we're going to have to seal off that section with every man still inside. So that's what I'm good at. I'm good at grabbing the door, pushing it shut and twisting the hatch while staring the drowning men on the other side of the glass in the face, all beating the pipes with wrenches trying to keep their heads above water.
Selfish? Didn't say it wasn't. I just said that's how I deal with emotional problems.
So that's the first step. The next step is we surface and bail the water out with a dixi cup. It takes a good bit of solitude to do, but any amount of water can be bailed with a dixi cup given the appropriate amount of time.
And I do count it as my tragic flaw to be so cold, to count a situation lost and turn my back with so little feeling of remorse. I don't know how I developed into that kind of person. I have my ideas here and there, but all it took was one situation to reveal that dark part of my life in all of its harshness and brutality.
Yes, yes... there is much in me that remains in need of change.
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