Going Back

I'm going back to TN today. Everything emotionally here has been up and down, but it was all a good experience. The memorial service went really well yesterday. I think everyone received the closure they needed and it was nice to be able to give the family something. I'm not very good at comforting outside of music. It really is hard to think that I've played two funerals for two friends within two years, but that's the reality of it. Phillip's mom asked me yesterday after the service how I felt after playing two funerals so close together. I answered the best I could, but I still don't think I fully know. I told her that it was helpful for me to be able to play because I want to be able to give something of myself to the memory of that person, but I only feel adiquate to do that through music. I told her that it also made me think more deeply about the berevity of life and what we end up spending our time and efforts on. Both are true statements, but I feel like there's more to it than that. I don't feel like I have to answer it now either.

But I'm going home today and I feel a little better. I've made up my mind about a few of my future plans and I'm ready to take action. I don't think it will be easy, but I'll do what I can. We'll find out what God's plan is in the end. Peace and love.