Urbana 06

Well, it's been just about a week since I last posted. That's a bit draining to stop and think about. The time has flown by but there has been so much that has happened in such a short period. Tuesday several college students at my church, my parents, and I loaded up in a van to go to St. Louis for Urbana 06. For those that don't know, it's a world wide mission conferrence that is held every three years to meet the needs of missionaries and of the world. In all, there were 22,000 of us and it was impressive to say the least, sitting in the Rams Dome at the America's Center and having it full of college students from all over the world. We went to seminars and listened to sermons and worshiped in different languages for five days. It was intense, more so emotionally than physically. I don't get overwhelmed to tears, but instead I just get tired. I was tired every day all the time. We heard mostly about the aids pandemic in Africa and the United States. We listened to different speakers including a princess and Bono discuss different ways in which we could help.

I don't like it, though, that I can't feel emotions the same way as most everyone else. It makes me feel disconected. It makes me feel like maybe I'm missing something. I just can't get personal with 22,000 people. Thankfully I had several friends on the trip I could talk to. As one of the speakers who inspired me most, Shane Clayborn, said "It's refreshing to be around Christians who think."

As far as my calling goes, I'm still not sure, though I feel my path is a little more clear. Having a clear path is different than knowing your calling obviously because a calling is a destination while a path is how you get there. I've written several times before that perhaps it is best that I do not know my calling yet. Certainly it makes decisions a bit more difficult to make (perhaps driving me to rely more on God to make them) and maybe it will even hurt my relationships. After all, I don't know too many girls who would want to get invovled with a guy who isn't sure where he's going. But I still believe firmly that a plan is something a man makes to help himself sleep at night. It is all up to God as to whether or not his plans even unfold. Besides, the mystery is half the fun if you allow it to actually be a mystery instead of insisting that it be a misery.

I've got a great deal to think about right now. Oh, I do have a funny story real quick though. I was in the hot tub at the hotel and was talking to this lady and she asked how old I was and I said "22". She looked at me inquisitively and I already knew what she was thinking. After all, when I get carded for buying a beer, people always check to see if my ID is a fake. She, on the other hand, looked confused and said "You seem a lot older than 22! ... ... at least you talk like you're a lot older." I know it's kinda stupid, but for someone who has spent their entire life looking three or four years younger than they actually are, that's a compliment.

Peace and love.