Strength for Patience

I've got a slightly nasty cough right now. It's the hacking kind, but I'm going to make it.

Cold has come again, and the house feels of it. I have to go back to wearing bundled cloths and huddling next to my space heater at night to try and stay warm. It's fine though. I sorta like it this way. It seems to me that my fondest memories have never formed around complete comfort.

I also wanted to give some sort of positive update on today. It was helpful to get out of the house and get my mind off of things for a while. Nothing quite does it like sitting through lectures on music publishing or working the desk on campus. Going to the meeting was good too, getting to talk to all of the guys and hear about what's been going on in their lives.

It reminds me that I have to stay strong not for myself but for the people around me. I can't allow myself to become stagnant or the people who depend on me will faulter. God knows I hate being stagnant. I just want something to happen. I want a sign, an "ok" to move forward or to turn back. I just want something that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, gives me some sort of motivation to make the right decision. I hate sitting in this limbo with just my thoughts and a lot of conflicting advice.

I'll be strong about it though. I have to be because I've come too far to curl up and be a little kid again. Besides, what was it I said about comfort earlier? I'm going to continue to wait and wait patiently for as long as I can stand. I feel confident in the Lord's promise to not test me beyond that point.

Peace and love.