Perspectives of a Selfish Ass

Introspection can be a wonderful thing. We are all a mystery within ourselves, but it can be dangerous too. I've come to understand a few small truths about self in the past couple of months as my convictions have been leading me through progression after progression. I will be honest. I do have the initial response tendancy to put myself before others (a shock to all I'm sure). Though I do consider this to be a natural tendancy within all mankind, I also do not underestimate its potential to consume nor do I condone my actions of being a self-centered ass. But even animals have a bit of self-centered characteristics to them. Wolves will dominate for mating and food. But if you want to see the finest examples of selfish existence, look no further than man.

Bitching and moaning about how unfair things are. Always feeling like the world is pressing down on you. Looking at the negative in everything. These are just a few case examples of the perspectives of a selfish butthead. I should know. They came straight out of my own heart. What is the thought process? It's pretty complex, but I'll do my best to explain.

We're all born with it. As children it is usually blatantly apparent until we reach a certain age when we become cognitively aware of the existance of other people. We then learn social behavior, how to interact with people who might differ with us in personality. This is a long process that lasts... well... I'm still working on it, so it must last beyond college.

Love is the only entity in our lives that can balance out or even overthrow the selfish nature. Love, in fact, is the exact opposite of selfishness. To make a better comparisson, I will call selfishness inward love. The antithesis of inward love is outward love. And I think to myself which of these attributes did Christ most vividly depict in his life? Certainly he did take time to feed himself and cloth himself, and sometimes he even went off by himself to pray or grieve (John the Baptist). But he didn't want to have to suffer and die for you for the sake of suffering and dying. He suffered and died because of his love. He wanted to sacrifice whatever it took to love you if that makes sense.

So what kind of love will give your life meaning? I hate to say it, but you will never reach the bottom of your soul no matter how much time you spend pouring into it. The individual can never be satisfied which is why capitalism works so incredibly well. But even if you did reach the bottom and found yourself, who would be around to celebrate that with you? What kind of memories do you think you will keep?

"Oh, hey Me, remember that time I cloistered myself away and just did everything I wanted to do? Wasn't that great?"

You know how you can tell how selfish you are? Look at your relationships. Do you have any? If so, do you feel like you can open up your heart to those people or do you merely keep them around because they make you feel comfortable? Do you ever listen to their problems or are you so consumed with yourself that you push them away and don't give a damn unless you're in a good mood?

Outward love is not selfless in attempts to be a punishment to us. It is selfless because if you truly love as God loves, then you will not need to focus so hard on yourself. You will have the help of God through others around you filling those needs. Basically, being selfish destroys the lives of the people around you who do care about you and want to love you. You can only serve one master, so if you choose to be selfish and only do and think the things that you want to do and think, you do not know the fullness of love. You know comfortability and that is it.

I am thankful that the people who love me are not like me.

Peace and love.