Mental War

What can I say? Not too much I'm afraid. At least, not too much of anything that is conclusive to a thought process. All that seems to want to come out of my fingertips and on to the keyboard are lists of fragmented ideas that are currently filling my head.

I remember my dream I had during my nap today. I should rephraze that... I remember my dream in a non-memorable kind of way. Little flashes and images of people, sensations, emotions, activities, kept flashing through my head. I would feel panic and then peace in quick succession. I can't say that my being awake has been very different. The tell-tale signs of stress are pressing down upon my body. I've had this twitch in the muscle over my right kidney for the past few days that comes and goes. That means I'm stressed. I always get a twitch somewhere in my body when I'm stressed.

So what do I do to beat it out? I try for better sleep and more healthy foods. I also try and prepare as best I can for tests and assignments that might be coming up. That's about all I have control over. The rest sits in God's hands. He knows how I'm wired and what my mind is capable of doing to my body. More or less, I know I'll survive.

I do have joys punctuating my life here and there to battle that stress though. The fires at night have been amazing. I love to sit and talk or not talk. It doesn't really matter to me. I also again have really been enjoying the friendship of the girls as of late. I also have a lot to look forward to. Graduation is big on the list as well as the life changes that take place after college.

I know this entry is short and rather pointless seeming. I honestly wish I could talk about all of the things I am feeling right now because there's a lot. But that's just not the way this works. That's what my paperback journal is for.

Ahhh what am I still doing awake?

Peace and love.