Cold Steam and Hot Po-tots

I was out driving back from a meeting downtown tonight and the air was just right to coerce steam out from the manhole covers. I know it sounds weird, but I really like that image.

Tomorrow is a rough day for me though. There are only two, maybe three things that can get me truly stressed out on their own, and one of them, a calc test, is tomorrow. I feel pretty crappy about it, but I've studied and I don't know what else there is to do but be at peace about it and get a solid night's rest.

Sleep and diet are becoming more important to me, especially lately. I feel like I'm deterriorating from the past two years of self abuse. That's why tonight I cooked my self a real meal. I had chicken brest, spinach, and a baked potato. It was pretty good, though I forgot how long a baked potato can take in the oven. I'm also going to try to go to extra lengths to fit breakfast in to my schedule in the morning. I had breakfast today and I felt amazing.

You know what else is amazing? What happens to all of that energy I had when I was a freshman, able to stay up until two or three in the morning and function perfectly fine the next day. It's only been three years since then and I'm already an old man. That's amazing.

But in that respect, I feel wiser and more capable now than I did then. I don't know, I mean I still have crappy days and I still get my head stuck in the clouds on the occasion, but I don't let it affect my performance as much as I used to. I'm becoming more realistic with myself too. I know what I can and can't take and what I am and am not ready for. I am thankful for the rate of growth I have endured because I can see clearly that it wouldn't have worked quite as well any other way.

And right now I'm really praying for a spirit of humility. I've learned so much about love (the full spectrum, not just romance) in the past few years and I really feel convicted that my pride is a huge barrier in my way of truly loving others and being responsible with the love people give me. It is my desire to continue learning about the deepness of love and sacrifice. I have come to learn that true spiritual freedom rests on the other side of that undesrtanding. Love because you were first loved. Peace and love.