Very Soon

I don't know if I have the strength to right now, but soon I will have a full journal about my life with Phillip Christopher Schrum who entered his eternal dwelling last Sunday morning. I just returned from being home after I heard the horrible news and honestly I'm still in shock. That's why I cannot write very much right now. I want what I say to do him justice, if it is even possible for a language to posess words of that depth.

I'm 21 now, but that doesn't seem to matter much anymore. I managed to go out with friends last night in attempts to retrieve my mind from such a destructive state as it has been in since Saturday. It seemed to do me some good I guess, but I was very greatful to them for making such an effort to pull something together as last minute as it was.

I have the responsibility of alcohol now, and honestly, it's not as great as everyone proclaims. I don't even like it all that much, but in accordance with tradition I toasted a drink to the friends here who supported me last night. I had a Corona with lime and a half of a Pale Ale. The reason I had half of that drink was that I have a low tolerance and I made an oath to God that I would never get drunk and be irresponsible with alcohol. Half way through that drink I started to feel the hint of a buzz coming on so I didn't finish it.

Ya know, there's so much potential in this world for evil. People blame objects like guns, bad parenting, or alcohol. I realized recently that it is none of these objects. None of them are responsible for the evil. It is the sin nature of man that is responsible; man's own heart. We are so ready to blame someone or something else, but nine times out of ten, that's not the case. You hold a glass of beer up to a crowd and one person sees it as an insignificant flavored drink that should be taken with responsibility and moderation. Another person sees that same glass as pure evil sitting in a cup that destroyed their lives through someone they loved. Another person sees that same that same glass as a means of which they might escape the pain of their reality, "the more the better" they cry. It is like a fuel to them, and like a car running on gas, when they get low reality returns, so the must fill up again, and they keep on doing so until it kills them or destroys their life. It is not the alcohol that does it though. It is the heart of man which defines what is in that glass. The alcohol, as well as the glass surrounding it, and the hand which holds it aloft, are all comprised of the same thing. atoms, energy. energy is not evil, but the intent of the spirit of man which acts upon the energy.

As for the rest of the day, I have much to do and very little sleep to back that up. I've got to get started now, but I'll try to be faithful in writing. Peace and Love.