How Far Ahead

What plans do I have? I don't really know right now. I know what I want in the near future, and I know what I want in the distant future, but it's not about what I want, but what I need and what I will receive. It can be so mindless, the succession of day after day, to where we forget why we are here, until the light flisks back on and we realize... that we have been long lost in a thick crowd of complacency, merely driftin through daily routine. It's easy to see. Turn your head a simple 180 degrees, or better yet, look into a mirror. Maybe you'll see it there. It's more common than air it seems like. People staggaring around without purpose, doing what they do because... "hey, it's there, so why not?" We're at school, but why? We get jobs, but why? We get upset over complications... but why? How much do we feel that we should actually feel, and how much do we feel that we feel because we feel like we should (... ? )? This was just a simple pondry I had today. I want to know what I feel legitemately and what I feel because I know no other way, so I suppose I will give it some more thought, as confusing as it may be.

I'm getting closer and closer to finishing my school work for good. I've got a few projects and a few papers to go, but I bet if I put one solid day to it, I could get it ALL done with little problem. I'm not that crazy though. I still value a certain amount of free time, and a certain amount of sanity. So... I'll finish one project tomorrow, and then maybe two on Friday, bumping one to Saturday if needs be. I've really got to get more sleep though. My eyes have been twitching on and off, which means I'm incredibly sleep deprived. I've been learning a few secrets here and there about how to get a better night's sleep. For me, more time for sleep isn't really an option. I value my time at night very much because it is the only time where I can sit and digest just what exactly happened during the day. Now sometimes I'll talk about it here, but then other times I might just juggle it around in my head a few times before I put it away. I've been accused of working too hard on this journal before, but the honest truth is... I don't really put any effort into it at all... Sometimes I just close my eyes and start typing what comes to my mind, and other times I'm usually multi-tasking. Right now, for example, I'm watching a movie while I write. I mean it is possible to type and not look at the screen. Just have confidence in your typing abilities. But anyways, I heard it was really good for you to type out your problems and concerns before you go to sleep, and to put next to them some possible solutions. I find this to be a secular way of saying "pray". But anyways, there's that, but even before that, you should sit for a few minutes and just calm down, but even before that... you should organize your sleeping quarters and make it a routine so that when you do, your body knows that it is close to bed time. I've been trying it, and it's all been pretty successful thus far, but sleep still gets a bit tricky when you have a 70 year old radiator next to your head. That thing clicks and shakes all night usually, but when it is broken like mine is, it spews a watery mist from a crack aimed right at my face... This recent progression of the damage might be the reason why I'm so sleep deprived... Maybe I'll just have to learn how to sleep in the rain or something. Hehe, well I could always try to fix it myself, but I'd rather not have two water fountains in my room.

Okay, so that's as much as I'm going to type tonight. What am I doing tomorrow? Lot's of stuff as usual. Maybe I'll take some time off to fly a kite or something, or bake cookies. Peace and love.