Hard Cover

Just got in from a pretty rough past few days. I've been trying to sleep better, but it hasn't exactly worked out as well as I had hoped. I vaguely remember going through phases like this before, and I guess I'm just going to have to wait it out. Eventually my body will be too tired to NOT sleep well. Helping that process lately has been work. I've been working my tail off for the past four days because there's a huge convention staying at the hotel right now. They'll be gone by tomorrow, but I saw more than I'd care to in one week. My legs have been fatigued as of late and my left knee is starting to bother me. Running up and down stairs all day is pretty high impact, not to mention all of the suitcases I've been handling. For the most part it keeps me in shape, but right now it's a little extreme. Anyways, enough about work.

I've been taking hits a lot lately, and I have to keep reminding myself to perservere. Sometimes it can feel like God is repetitiously poking me with a stick. Every once-in-a-while I need a reminder of mercy, which hasn't really come yet, but I've never doubted God as having His head in the game, so-to-speak. I will just keep pressing through all of this opposition and see what happens in the end. Honestly, if I haven't picked this up as a reoccuring theme in life yet... I don't know if I ever will.

But music has been flowing from these past few weeks. I have written four new songs, some which may never be heard, but four none the less. I really see it as sort of odd, how it has come back to me just as the light in the tunnel becomes visible. It's as if I really wasn't supposed to write many songs in college, but just to experience and feel. I write about different things now. I'm not obsessive about love anymore. Certainly some of my lyrics still contain love messages, but my music covers several spectrums of life now as opposed to when I first entered college. All I could write was music and lyrics based around the mental image of one girl. It literally drove me crazy. Perhaps I am a little more numb to "true love" now than I used to be, but this is just a season. Friends are what is important to me now as this season of my life begins to close. In my mind I see this thick book with a hard cover begin to close on the last page. From right to left the back cover slowly casts a shadow over the last written words of my college experience. But at the same time I am handed a new book. This one is even thicker and all of the pages have yet to be written on. It's intimidating. But I've been spending any amount of free time with my friends, trying to create just a few more memories before I leave this place. It's tricky, and it becomes more real every day, but the world keeps spinning through space.

Tonight Matt, Viking, and I walked to a park and tossed the frisbee around for a while. We also managed to get a few good minutes on the playground. Why not? When we got back we ordered hotwings and watched Ultimate Fighting with Joey. Tomorrow I'm running sound at church, but we will do the pizza thing as always.

"Oh the times, they are a changin."

Peace and love.