Too Relaxed

I forgot what all I left behind here when I went home for the past few days. Wouldn't you know that work would try and screw me over with this week's schedule? If that wasn't bad enough, I don't have any phone numbers to contact them with so I can get it changed. I'm going to have to figure something out over the weekend. They know better than to schedule me on Monday's and Saturdays.

But I feel pretty squashed right now. The drive home gave me some time to think, but thinking doesn't always mean that you come to any solutions. You might just dig your hole deeper than it was before. I really just feel... helpless here. I feel trapped in this city. It bothers me that I can't do what my heart longs for, but at the same time, it is my nature to finish what I started. I came here to learn, and I have indeed learned in abundance. The stresses of it never get easier though. It brings me down ten feet when kinks get thrown in my operation and they do all the time. But didn't I sign up for that? I've always said that a stable life isn't a life worth living. That's a big part of my philosophy. And out of everything I've learned, I haven't quite figured out how to not get bent out of shape every time I fall through the ice. I fail to see the opportunities at first because I get so distracted in feeling sorry for myself. Why is that such an instinctive response to failure or adversity? Nothing ever gets done when you've fallen off and all you can think about it how unfair it is. People get kicked while they're down, it's a fact of life. The longer it takes for you to realize that, the more time you'll spend on the ground being kicked instead of making progress.

On a completely seperate subject, I itch. My superhuman immunities have seemingly left me and I have both mosquito bites and poison ivy. I haven't had either of them in years!

Whatever. This week is full of opportunities that I can see and claim as long as I'm not too busy crying about myself. Peace and love.