So Amazing

I can't begin to describe the feeling I had throughout the day. I was met with all sorts of different negativities, but it just rolled off as if I were just some waxed surface of optimism. I feel full of something good, something God sent that I can't really describe. Maybe I finally have the courage to move forward. But today just seemed like all of the right things were happening, not just for me, but for the people around me. One of my friends finally talked to a special someone, and it went really well for him. I was really pulling for him, so I'm glad it worked out.

My room is a mess, much like my obligations, but strangely enough, it's not effecting my mood at all. I'll probably do some cleaning tomorrow, maybe some organizing on top of that. Who knows... I might even get a little help from my buddy Frank Sinatra. See, I clean, dance, and lip sync while Frank sings. That's pretty much how it works, if you didn't already know.

I was over at the house tonight and had a good conversation with Burly as we were the only ones there for a while. I got to talk a little bit about my past, which I don't do too often. It's nice to have an actual person listen every once in a while. I mean, this journal is great and all, but it's not everything. And anyways, I feel like I've gotten to know Burly alot better in just this past year. We never really used to have much deep discussion, but now it's more of a frequent thing. On my way back though, I saw the remnants of a horrible accident that the police were trying to clean up. There was a collision between a car and an SUV both involving student aged people. There was debris everywhere and the SUV was up-side-down in the middle of the road. It's funny how fast people my age can look like decently self-managed adults one minute, and scared shaking little children in the face of trauma the next. I immagine life was casual for them a few minutes before, but when I saw them they were sitting on the curb huddled over with wide tearful eyes watching the police secure the area. I wanted to stop and help in fear that they might have been Belmont students, but I didn't have my phone with me, so even if I did, I would have just gotten in the way, not to mention that the police probably wouldn't have let a complete stranger approach the scene.

That's always sobering. You can think you know everything. All of your theology and philosophy is worked out the right way and then calamity strikes. You transform from a "civilized" and "cultured" human being into a wounded animal. I think of that because in philosophy class this morning there was a heated argument among the class. I say argument and not debate because you don't bring attitude to debate, you bring evidence. This argument went on and even though I felt strongly for one side, I didn't say very much. As soon as I spoke I could tell that the atmosphere wasn't one of acceptance, so I just sat there and smiled to my self thinking how silly all of it seemed. People were arguing and making enemies over a class discussion that has essentially been debated for the better part of the century. If there was one "right" that everyone could have agreed on, it would be more likely that someone of age and wisdom would have figured it out and presented it already, not us unexperienced "know-it-all" "damn college students" as Jimmy would say. So I sat there for the rest of the class and secured my beliefs around the subject and left content and unflustered. I would just bet that the argument had by several of those students this morning, and the philosophy that they were taught, would have meant absolutely jack crap if they were in the situation of the wreck victims tonight.

And to lull myself to sleep tonight, I shall get quite, maybe do some reading, and prepare my mind for tomorrow. I've been having a really good dream series this week, so I'm sorta excited to get back to sleep and see if I have another good one. Peace and love.