My Brain Hurts

Calculus hurts my brain even on days that I don't have it. That's unfortunate. I've got bags under my eyes and pretty much every sign of stress that I can carry, but hey, I'm not dead, so that's good news! All of my muscles are puddy though...

What did I do today? Not what I set out to do, that's for sure. I ran alot of errands and worked the front desk. During that time I did manage to squeeze in an hour of the Cosby Show. I really like that show. Speaking of shows, the show tonight that I ran audio for was pretty good. I've found a fondness for running the light board, but I really would like more time behind the mixer. I think I really need to feel more confident in myself in that setting. There are so many eyes watching me, but I know what I'm doing and I forget that sometimes. I mean I've been running live sound for years and years. I just didn't know alot of the technical terms for things. I think it's also hard to be in a class of all different skill levels, but hey, now I know how the people who know more than I do feel.

I really want to get some time in the studio. I feel ready to put my music to the test. That's right. I'm actually going to put it out to the public and let them taste it for a little bit and see how they like it. I've always been afraid that people wouldn't like my music and in turn that's sorta saying that you don't like me. My music and I are one entity, though one lacks actual consciousness... that's right... I do... especially in calculus. But I'm rather optomistic right now. I've been writing a whole lot more and I think I can do something with it. I have to market it cleverly though or nobody will buy into it. I've got my ideas. That's really all I'm good at... ideas. Now if only I could find a way to motivate myself to pull off all of the ideas that I have. I bet I would be doing pretty well by now. I just loose interest so quickly. The initial rush of having a good idea is great, but then it takes actual hard work to pull off and that's when I get bored. I loose sight of the prize. Wow, I'm like that in several areas of my life now that I think about it.

But these days I'm staying up far too late. I really think most of my stresses are due to lack of sleep, but that is one thing consistant about college life. I do ever enjoy sleep though. I just wish it didn't have to end so abruptly in the morning. I wish my body didn't hurt so bad when I woke up. I wish my alarm clock wasn't so annoying. You know what I'm talking about. If you've ever seen those commercials where people start of their days. There's an alarmclock ringing and they slap it and hop right out of bed. My friends, there are two, maybe more, sounds in this world that will make a man's skin crawl. The first is the fingernails down the chalk board, and the second is the droning/screaming/pounding/ringing sound of an alarm clock pushing you through the back door of your dreams out into the cold wet gutter.

But all this talk of sleep and alarm clocks has got me falling in and out of consciousness so I will leave you now. Peace and love.