Sunday, January 09, 2005

Break is Over... Back in Nashville

class hasn't started yet, but i'm here along with all the other RAs as the students slowly will return today and tomorrow. i woke up this morning not feeling extraordinarily great, but now i do, and i have a secret as to why. i worked out today, and i didn't just do a light workout, i mean i killed myself. i won't be able to move tomorrow i worked out so hard. i think doing that increased the dopamine levels in my brain for the day which has boosted my confidence and my charisma. i also find myself not thinking as much about negative things right now so i'm probably going to once again make working out a regular routine like back in high school. i think disciplining myself to do all this stuff this semester will be the hardest task i have before me. that and making enough money to live. i really blew it big time when i didn't make the money i raised over the summer last. i expect no pitty for my current circumstance. i brought this on my self. the semester i predict shall be a little easier all around though. i just have a good peace about certain things. i am still vastly confused on other details of my life that will be mentioned in much much later journals, but as for now i'm still looking to God for some sort of direction and clarity. i was reading in Hebrews 11 today because that's where i cronologically am in the book. it said in verse 8 that by faith Abraham went to the land God had promised him even though he did not know exactly where he was going. i have a feeling that alot of my decision will be based on a leap of faith, but i really just want to make sure i'm supposed to act on this idea at all. it will all come though. i know God will pull through on that because He always has. so what am i doing right now? i'm on duty. yep, the first RA on duty for the semester. i'm not bothered at all though. this new tv we got in the lobby provides more than enough entertainment. it's a 48" HDTV of pure testosterone and we have made quite the couple for the past few days. anyways, the internet in my room is down so it's not as if i can do any of this up there for entertainment. come to think of it, my life is really actually quite mundane as of last semester. i spent way too much time in my room just reading people's away messages instead of getting out and actually doing stuff. well, hopefully this new found energy and output of mine will last through the semester. i'm the average new year resolution making american in that i always go back on it because it looses its savor after a while. incredible savor will be lost tomorrow when i awake and find myself paralized from the neck down due to my workout routine today, but pushing through that is important. it is much like sin in a way. when at first you try to resist sin, it hurts and it doesn't seem worth it, but after a while, if you perservere, you get through the pain and you emerge a better man/woman. an easily understood illustration for those who have attempted to spend any time at the gym as well as attempting to overcome sin in life. having said all that i hope life is going well for you all. i realize i have just broken a long streak of negative journals, and hopefully will continue doing so. have a blessed day. peace and love.

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