Tomorrow Looks Like This...

okay, so my mind is so chalk full of crap right now, i've found it hard to sleep lately. i'm wrestless and my dreams are, for the most part, bad. i've just got so much to do, and i don't know how long my body can handle it. reguardless, i won't get to rest until, not this weekend, but the weekend after... maybe. so right now i'm just worried about getting all of my stuff in on deadline, makin the grades, and floorin it to thanksgiving break when i can finally get away from this place. it will be a lovely taste of what christmas break will look like, and i REALLY need christmas break. my brain literally hurts right now. i'm serious! it's aching as we speak. i've got test after test after obligation after obligation on my plate right now, and i know for some people, that's the only way they can function, but me... after a long rain, even the mighty oak can fall in a simple breeze.

tomorrow i will begin by waking early to study for both music theory and spanish. following that study session, i will go directly to an RA end service that lasts for about an hour. after that i have my two classes, music theory and spanish. once that's all said and done with, i shall begin preperation for my date tomorrow night at six. that's going to take a while. after the date i have to go directly to a fraternal gathering and immediately after that i have to bust my tail to get a spanish project done. this is discouragement to the extreme! i have NO free time tomorrow what so ever. nor do i have much on thursday. friday through sunday is even full. it's not that i don't enjoy doing alot of these activities, but i have to have alone time atleast one day of the week in order to fully function, and it doesn't look like that's going to happen at all these next two weeks. fun, in a way, is also based upon how much energy you have. i never thought i'd be talking about energy. when i was younger, i always prided myself in never being tired. i couldn't even take naps even through high school. but college does something horrible to men. it sucks their life out of their nose holes and leaves only mere shells in its wake.

responsibility. that is what i have. i can't give up because i have responsibility. i talk about breaking all the time, but i never do. that mentallity has always been with me. i could probably exert myself to death just because i don't want to give up. i guess i do remember the days when i was younger that i didn't want to stick with anything, but now, even though i don't want to stick with some things, i do. in weight training i would get hurt all the time because i wouldn't let myself not finish the job i started. i almost passed out a few times because i was too stubborn to back down a few steps. i guess no matter how i look at it, i'm a compedatively based person. even if it is competing with myself, i am always in competition to some extent. i suppose it's got it's negatives, but it has positives as well. right now i'm exhausted though. i was too wrestless to take any naps today, but tired enough to sleep the day entirely through. let's just hope for a lighter load next week if at all possible. peace and love...