Moods

I'm in a mood right now. I don't know how to describe it so I'll do the best I can. I feel confused, maybe meloncholy, maybe heartbroken, maybe satisfied, but somehow none of those descriptions quite come together to paint how I actually feel. Am I growing? Nothing has been more certain. I was thinking tonight that maybe my growth has been inhibited for so long because I took on too much responsibility. I heard it said that being too busy is another form of lazyness. I've always been one to look at the horizon and thirst for it, to know what is there. Right now I'm thirsting more than ever. I think what is hurting me is the feeling of lonliness in my thirst. Stuffy helps me out a great deal because he struggles with similar things that I do, but not many other people in my life share their struggles anymore. I tend to blame laughter for that. It's easy to protect yourself by plugging a joke into a serious conversation and offsetting everyone else. I swear, it works like a charm and we're all really good at it. I'll grow though. What I said last night still rings clear in my head. I'm young. I don't think I have time to learn, but I do. Peace and love.