Steady

I once had a conversation with a friend about the struggles we were both enduring. I said that I wished I was where they were because that would be my ideal environment to grow in, especially spiritually. They then brought a new thought to my mind. Could it be possible that God placed me in the true ideal environment for my growth? Sure there have been points where I haven't been comfortable, but growth is always a painful process. Sometimes it is hard to picture the final product. You take a rough stone from the mud, clean it, run it through days upon days of wearing and grinding and tumbling. Some time later you pick it up and hold it to the light to watch it shimmer. It now has immense value where before it was nothing but potentially valuable. For me, college is that tumbler. I am out of control being tossed and turned and grinded upon. I really can't see, now, how any of this will develope for the better, but I am confident that a day will come.

But it is funny to me how much and what I worry about. As much as I criticize those who constantly thirst for some sort of drama, whether internal or external, I sure do seem to find pleanty of my own. It is as if we don't feel like our lives are enough. We have to take drugs to make them something more, something that they are not. I was reading Aristotle today and I would bet that he would strongly disagree with such persuits. He would suggest that happiness, unless divinely blessed, can be somewhat aquired in a life of virtue, honor, and brave action. He said that action is the key. You do not grant awards to olympians for looking like the best or talking themselves up the most, but only those who take the most perfect action will win the medal. So I have a personal conviction to perform my day to day life as an honorable and virtuous man without worry. Saved by grace, yes, but granted a free ride through the difficulties of life, no. I still have to face tough decisions and circumsances each day just like the next guy. So, will I be honorable, or will I try to make my life feel more exciting?

As for the weekend, it was relaxing and pleasurable. I'm glad the Panthers beat the Bears, but either Zach or I will loose sleep next weekend when the Panthers meet up with the Sea Hawks. I'm looking forward to it. Oh, I also got to meet new people these past few days. I've really been in want of meeting new folks, so I'm glad for that. Tonight was a "return to work" call. Matt came over and we cooked. I made steak and angel hair pasta with a butter garlic sauce and a side of green beans. It was probably the best and suprisingly cheapest meal I ever made. I ate all of it though... which was alot. We then worked on calculus for a while until we were both too frustrated to continue. And as scared to death as I am of calculus and all math in general, I am going to have a positive outlook on this semester and work as hard as I can to bring it to a successful completion.

Musically, I'm at a standstill. I don't quite feel inspired, but I'm going to try and train myself out of this funk and do some serious new stuff.

As for my fridge... I am pretty sure that the immortal funk that has resided in there for a better part of a semester has now assimilated into a ghost that insists on clunking and clanking around at all hours of the night. But asside from the noise and stale stench, the fridge still does its job well.

And now I shall close. I hope God teaches you all something new this week. Take it in stride. Peace and love.