Don't Overcontemplate

I'm working out all sorts of details right now, trying to figure out how I can get the most out of my education before I graduate and am cast out on my own to this ravenous world. It's a slightly interesting slightly depressing truth to face, but in many ways it's like jumping into a pool. You can sit there and dip your toe in and feel the temperature and pace back and forth across the deck preparing yourself to face the waters... or you could just jump in and do it. I guess there's just a point of overpreperation to where you loose the joy of it and it becomes stressful and an issue of control. I want the adventure. I want to make mistakes and learn how to get out of them because that, to me, is an interesting and worth while experience. Just remember to secure your water wings if you don't quite know how to swim yet.

I'm feeling slightly on the sick side right now. I'm pretty sure I can blame the extreme temperatures for that. It was in the 20's yesterday and today it was in the mid 50's. I can't take these crazy fluctuations for long. Grrrr sickness.

Musically right now I am at a loss. I just want some word, some lyric to put down on paper that I can look at and feel satisfied with. It is so aggrivating to not be able to write because it makes me feel like my feelings aren't strong enough to transduce into art. I just want to make something beautiful, but my artistic self feels rather numb right now.

So I lean back in my black leather chair and look around my room hoping that my eye will catch something that offers inspiration... No such luck. Maybe I should get ready for bed. I am pretty tired, and it is 2:30 in the morning... but I'm still slightly hungry. So I walk over to my couch and grab the bread and peanut butter that I bought tonight on a Walmart run. A personal trainer (not mine, I'm too poor) named Trung told me that I need to eat lots of peanutbutter and white bread if I hope to gain any weight. That sounds fair. I reach behind myself and reach for the lowest drawer of my dresser where lies my pantry. I open it to grab a butter knife. I open the bread bag and take out two pieces. Next comes the peanutbutter jar... "Great Value creamy peanut butter" with evidently 0 grams of trans fat. Wow... I'm really glad about that (sarcasm). Unscrew the lid and take that silver sealer off the top to reveal... a smooth top layer of peanutbutter. I feel kinda bad to destroy it, but my hunger is a mighty force of motivation. There we go... consider it destroyed. I now spread on the peanutbutter as evenly as I can. The first bite... pretty good. Why I am narrarating my eating experience... I don't know.

I'm gunna watch the tv box before I go to bed. Peace and love.