Reflective, But Time To Say Goodbye

Tomorrow is it. The last day I will be in High Point for a good long time. I guess there are always things about this place that I will miss, but most of those things are no more. They are memories of the way things used to be. That's back when my life seemed complicated, but it really wasn't. It's funny how relative complications can be, but I'm sort of glad God designed it that way. So what exactly will I miss?

-I'll miss all those nights with my closest friends before they all moved away. Most nights we never really had any good ideas, but then there were those nights where we would come up with creative ways to trash our other friends' yards.

-I'll miss the youth group that I used to be a part of. I'm talking about pre-worship leading youth group. I always took that for granted.

-I'll miss the feeling of driving home down that long stretch of road between my house and hers after our first kiss... A short lived experience mostly full of pain, but I'll miss it.

-I'll miss sitting on the dock with the guys, smokin a cigar and eating wendy's even though we shouldn't have been out there anyways. I'll also miss sitting around the fire pit with those same guys after watching a really good movie.

-I'll miss my family and my dog.

-I'll miss the way everybody at my church knows me.

-I'll miss being so close to both the mountains and the beach.

Right now I couldn't find a better song to listen to than Jimmy Eat World's "My Sundown". This is my sundown in this, my previous world.

"I've said my goodbyes, this is my sundown. I'm gunna be so much more than this. With one hand high you'll show them your progress. You'll take your time, but no one cares."

Every time I come back here I feel more and more distant. But that's just part of growing up. Less people recognize me. There are less and less familiar faces. I am leaving this place and going to the next. Fewer people understand who I have become. I'm growing and shrinking all at once.

I suspect tomorrow I will be pretty reflective, but pretty busy at the same time. I want to go and visit Phill's grave before I leave, but I don't know if I have the strength. I'll just do my packing and make the judgement call after that.

But the whole court process went well today. It took a greater part of the day to get to the bottom of, but it was about jury duty after all, and that check stubb I had turned out to be just what I needed to get out of the case that the state was going to hold against me for "not showing" to jury duty. I was releived. Thank you for your prayers.

I suppose I leave Sunday early morning with a car full of stuff and a hand full of confidence. I will show Belmont University that I, Nathan, have not yet begun to display my full capabilities. They have underestimated me and judged me poorly. They will know that they made a mistake. And why should I exert myself to my fullest potential over that? No good reason really. It will be forgotten one day. It's just that when people doubt me it only fuels me to work that much harder. We Pembrokians will make an impact this year 2005-2006. Peace and love.