ok ok ok... this weekend has been GREAT. i had nothing to do and i did it ON time with NO qualms. how about this. I recorded two songs this weekend, one of which i wrote friday night! that one i just posted on the internet, so if you want to go to my music site and check it out, feel liberated to do so. other than that there's not terribly much to say. i can't seem to remember much of what has gone on this weekend, but i know that it was good. tomorrow i have a history exam that i haven't studied for yet, but it'll be easy so i'll study tomorrow right before it, and that way the information will be fresh on my mind. i think i feel so good right now because nothing can compare to the amount of stress i experienced last week. this week, though full of exams, is going to be a breeze! i am going home next week though which i have mixed feelings about. i have lots of friends who will be staying here, but then... home is home... and even though i guess technically i'm a visitor, there's no other place like it. i'm sure i'll have to do alot of adjusting. being at college all of my every day functions run on my time, and though a bit unorthadox, i get things done. at home, on the other hand, i'll have to re-adjust to who i was before i went to college because to many people are directly effected by my actions. i've though about this and i think that i'll probably return to some medium between the two me's, this way life won't be too hard. getting my summer job might be a pain though. i'm not assured anything as far as work is concerned back home... atleast, nothing that might pay me enough money as to what i need for college. i'm not to stressed out about it though. God has always taken care of me in the past, and though i know things can change, i'm not worried. there's not too much that could stress me out like last week again anyways. i suppose i can take time to tell you about my dreams though. i've had the most weird dreams in the past few weeks since i've been stressed out. they are so realistic in detail and have a stunning plot line, but i'm not so much afraid of them as much as i am weirded out. i have had some fear dreams though, in which i will be half asleep and half awake with my eyes open and i'll see something that freaks me out so i'll jump off the top bunk and turn on the light. these dreams lately have been different from that. one of them, for example was me riding in a tractor trailer with all of my friends from school and two girls that i didn't know. we were riding on a bridge that went over the ocean which broke down into one lane. then we came upon some cars that were coming the opposite way, one of which was a black benze because i saw the medallion. we slammed on our breaks and tried to avoid the cars but we collided and sent the mercedes in to the ocean and then we fell in to the water. then all of the windows opened up and everybody swam out, but i looked back down and the girl was stuck inside so i went back to get her. once i got her free, the truck landed at the bottom of the ocean in such a way were we couldn't get out and we tried breaking windows and opening doors, but then we just drowned... i know how they say that you can't die in your dream because your brain doesn't know how to simulate death so it actually dies, but that's a load of crap because my brain also can't simulate being shot in the head but i've had a dream where that's happened once and... well... it was pretty weird, but i'm still alive. these are just a few of the weird dreams i've been having lately due to what college students like to call sleep deprivation. last night i had a dream that i had an incounter with a ghostly figure that i couldn't see but was definitaly in the room. i though to myself it must be lonely to be a ghost so i sucked up my fear and tried to be friendly with it. i told it to go outside and play in the snow with the neighborhood kids because yes, there was lots of snow outside... according to the story of my dream, the ghost was a friend of a friend who i had never met before, but my friend was so upset about the death that he wouldn't leave his room. see, they lived together and he just couldn't face looking at all the stuff, so me, a few friends and mom (you were there too) went over to box the stuff up and get rid of it. it was in a house that i had never been to in real life before which is kinda weird because usually you dream about experience, but i also remember looking at this really cool lamp with an embroidered angel on the shade, it was that detailed. the guy that died was named mitch and he and some of his buddies went out one night to a lake and drowned. there's a theme here which is weird. all of my dreams have included water lately. now i'm not afraid of water at all. i'm a lifeguard for pete sake and i've almost drowned before cuz i almost passed out under water, but i decided after that experience that it wouldn't be such a bad way to die. i can't seem to make a connection with this aspect of my dream though. when the ghost came out i was in the dining room of the house looking through the white silk-like curtains at children playing in the snow with mom sitting next to me. i all the sudden heard floor boards creeking to the left in the other room and my friend was the only other person left in the house and he wouldn't leave his room. the other guys had gone out to get some food, so they were also gone. the floor boards creaked closer and closer though until finally the curtains started moving as if someone where just tapping them lightly with their hand. i remember feeling a chill, but i decided to put it past me and take command of the situation so i gently told the ghost, who i saw as child-like, to go outside and play in the snow. the curtain stopped moving and the floor boards creaked again over to the door just a few feet away, the door blew open as if it weren't closed properly before, and then a draft in the house slammed the door closed again. that's when i woke up confused and i even tried to go back to sleep to re-enter the dream and make sense of it, but i couldn't. now i try to make connections with every day life and my dreams, but i couldn't do it. i haven't watched a horrer flick in 9 months, i had never been to that house before but it belongs to one of my friends from nc state who also has friends that live in it that i don't know but what would make me think of that. secondly, i don't believe in ghosts. when you die, your soul doesn't just roam the earth because that's silly. both of the dreams were also very vivid and fully colored. most of the things in the house were white except for the angel on the shade, the floor and the furniture, the door knob, the child playing in the snow (which was very deep and in drifts) who had on a brown cap, a red scarf and mittens, with a black ski suit and black boots. now i'm not really bothered by these dreams except for the fact that i don't know where out of my scattered mind they came from. if i have more, i'll be sure to keep you all posted, but for now i'm going to atleast try to find some more. peace and love...