Up the Mountain

Go, go, you can do it, just keep going. Don't stop and think about it, just mindlessly put one foot in front of the other until you get to the end. I remember several years ago in Guatemala, Brian and I wanted to race up the mountain to the village we were going to. It was close to a six mile hike up and the temperature was pushing a conservative 100+, but we saw a challenge and we wanted to face it. It's easy to take a challenge when looking at the top of the mountain from the bottom. You're looking at it and you're feeling fresh. You aren't fatigued in any way and because of this all you can think about is how there's no way you can fail. You set off in high spirits and high pace, enjoying the scenery and making reflective conversation. It's nature, how can you not be reflective? The minutes push on and the rocks get bigger, the slope grades get higher, the sun gets hotter. These mountains are the desert. Your bottle of water is warming up to the point where you would be just as well off to mix some coffee grounds in and serve it up with cream and sugar. You don't let your pace down though. That would be giving in. Then comes the phase where you start trying to put the length of road into a time frame, only you aren't wearing a watch, nor do you know exactly how long you have to go. It's just up for as long as the road carries. It's the will that gets you there when you don't know the end. It's hope and it's endurance, the motive of having something to prove to yourself pushes you from behind. Most of the conversation has stopped at this point, but you keep on marching with just as much ferver. Your feet get soar and the sweat drips into your eyes and stings a little, but the slight breeze feels better the higher you get. Occasionally you come to an overpass and look out and thigns are suddenly put into perspective. The vastness and the hight of your ascent. It makes you feel big, and you would almost be comfortable to just stop here if it weren't for the knowing that up the road is a higher view and a cooler breeze. More and more tired you become, but you're almost there. For some reason that only makes the desire to give up stronger. I've never understood that. Suddenly little huts start popping up and livestock. Children playing soccer on a dusty pad ontop of the mountian have a goal made of two metal bars set. The keeper has his chore cut out for him because if he misses, it's a long way down to get that ball back. The kids stop and soon everyone immerges from their little plots of land to see the white strangers, but they're happy to receive their guests. Lemonaid... or whatever it was. We weren't suppose to drink the water even if it was fresh squeeze lemonaid, but not only would it have been rude to refuse, but it was cool and we were hot. The results of our decision meant nothing over the opportunity to receive such a blessing.

Everything about that hike was exactly what life is like. Everything about that hike was exactly what college is like. I'm nearing the end and all I can think about is fighting off the temptations of giving up. I've come so far and it's starting to get cooler and I can see signs of life to come, but I'm so tired. I'm so tired.

Peace and love.