Good Day... Probably Good Week Too

i've felt pretty good today. i don't have really too much to say though because it's extra late, but i think for the most part i'm still on schedule. turns out i didn't get much sleep last night though. i had to stay up for the majority of it trying to fight my radiator because it sprung a leak. needless to say, my alarm didn't wake me up for biology, but that's okay because i haven't missed any bio classes yet, so i'm still okay. while i'm talking about maintenance i might as well go ahead and mention that i'm going to have to buy a new car battery. it's just not holding it's charge. i pretty much know that it's not the alternator because i can get a charge built up to last about a day, but if i let the car sit idle for any longer than that, it goes dead. it's not a problem though. that's such a small problem if you consider all that can go wrong with a car, and after the things that would break on my old car, i'm very thankful to just have a bad battery. i mentioned being "on schedule" at the beginning of this journal if i'm not mistaken. that's because i just began training myself to keep a detailed schedule. this means that at night before i go to bed, i have to sit down and plan the next day. to do this i list all of the concrete things i have to do, then considering that, i calculate all of the free time i have and distribute my to do list among those. the to do list can entail anything from napping to tutoring. tomorrow isn't such a bad day though. i figured that i'd better get this down before school comes back up to bite me in the butt. i know it's about too, but maybe this way it won't be so bad.

i suppose all of this pressure lately has broken me into discipline. some people fold under pessure and some people show their best. God understands that i'm one of those who shows their best when pushed hard enough, so i think that's where all of my trials have been coming from lately. spiritually i find myself being challenged to keep a cleaner mindset, which is particualry hard when living in a male dorm with very little regulations. i have to keep coming back to my quiet place and regrouping before i can go out and face everything all over again. it's because my mind is so easily caught up in the chatter of every day life. but this year i am determined to discipline my mind and body.

so what's new then? i was perusing over my latest journals and i've come to realize that most of them have sort of a dark attribute. i don't mean for it to be that way, it's just that whenever i'm having a bad day, that's usually when i feel most inspired to write. that's also why most of my songs aren't happy sunshine songs. in short, i don't want anyone to get the wrong impression. i am joyous here despite my challenges and bad days. these things just happen and are a part of life. we all have to face them so that we can learn to come out on top... again, the fold or thrive principle. i have come to learn that we all have a choice as to whether or not we will be defeated. it's the little thoughts that sneak in that try to convince us that folding is the better choice. those are the thoughts that i'm learning to defeat. so follow my journals keeping that in mind.

so tonight i go to sleep exceedingly happy. i hope it will continue with me tomorrow, but i suppose that all depends on my mindset. speaking of sleep though, i had the weirdest dream last night and a slight coincident today. i dreamt that i was in an elevator and all the sudden it just started falling and i tryed to tell myself to wake up, but i didn't until after it landed. now i don't use elevators too much here, but today i used quite a few as coincidence i suppose. but i was cautious on each elevator, as they have been known to break from time to time. but my day ended not too long ago while i was watching tv and there was a guy that was in an elevator and it just started falling. that's not something you see every day, but i guess i could have. it's just weird that all this happened in one day. i'm glad i'm still alive though and that i didn't plumit in an elevator down four stories in the musci business building, or three flights in the school of music building. yay for being alive! and yay for awsome action packed dreams! i love it when i have dreams that push the threshold of my definition of reality and posibility while still maintaining a sense of clarity throughout. all this talking of dreams has gotten me quite excited to go to sleep... so until we chat again, i bid you all adue. peace and love...