The Fundaments of a Storm

so tonight there is this amazing storm blowing through nashville. i love storms like these... they truly are a display of God's amazing power. but this storm seems to be fitting for my current status as well. things are getting turned upside down and i don't know when it is going to be over. i feel tugged in every direction. the wind seems to be picking everything appart that isn't tied down and all i can do is sit back and watch. it's out of my control. or is it? that's not a question that should be answered right now for me. sure there are some things i could do to make the situation a little better, but i don't know what those are. i'm trying as hard as i can to do what it is that i think i must do, but nothing seems to work. such is life though. there's something on the other side. i wonder sometimes if God is just testing me in order to strengthen me or if He's telling me that i need to make some huge alterations in my life. I through time and concentration things will get a little more clear. if this storm doesn't let up soon, it's porobably because i need to do something. anyways, it's been raining all day and i love it. i usually don't like just rain, but this is quite different. when i finally finished my homework the this current storm, which is the worst of them all, just picked up, so i felt the urge to go out and drive in it. i love driving in storms and listening to loud music, especially at night when the lightning lights up the sky like it has been doing. it was magnificent though and i can't stress that enough. i've never seen such beautiful lightning. anyways, after i drove around town for a while, i got back to campus and went into the dorm and everyone was downstairs in the hallway. why, might you ask? because there was a tornado warning. so i took some guys down the the basement and sat with them for a while just in time for a bad headache to kick in. while i was down there i just watched the lightning striking all around and the rain flying sideways through the air. everything was swaying melodically and you look at it and can't immagine something like that being ugly. it is full of power and it is beautiful, much like the way i think God wants us to see Him. anyways, i'm giong to keep this journal short. i have my eight o'clock class tomorrow and i need to get some sleep. it's been so hard for me to sleep lately because i've had so much on my mind. and like a storm it all comes at once, often times with little or no warning. i have had a well of strenght to face it though. thanks to those of you who have been keeping me in your prayers. brittany gets a special shout out for listening to me forever about my situation. she's a great listener and gives very wise advice. thanks brittany. as for everyone else, i shall try to write more often. it's so hard to set aside some time to do this amidst all of the strifes of college. peace and love