You Can Dance

Tired... not because of an average day, but because I danced like there was no tomorrow tonight. We had our pajama jam program tonight and it was a huge success. At first I was really uncomfortable, but then I just gave in. I think what it was was all of the sour grapes that were there saying how bad out playlist was and that they wanted good music like rap instead of our fun music. But then they all got tired and left and the rest of us had a great time. We line danced, jumped around, and just went crazy! I haven't broken out of my shell like that in a while. Feels good, I must say.

My heart feels mixed up right now though. I'm not sure why... or maybe I do know and I'm just not being honest with myself. That's it. I sometimes think maybe I get too excited about stuff like this and that maybe I should just crawl back into my indifference. It's safe and familiar there, and I have focus. But then while I'm there I think, "What if I miss something important? What if something or someone passes me by?". Then I get this urge to take risks. I'm in that place right now. I want to take risks and see what happens. I have stumbled upon something utterly amazing and I just can't rest at turning my back. It's funny because initially I literally did. I looked down at my scars and I convinced myself that I had suffered enough. But it became an internal battle. I couldn't sleep that night. I was confronted with that part of me that only surfaces in these instances. It opens my eyes to the worth of the journey if it should follow through. It's something I would die for, so I can't say no. But maybe I should keep things like this to myself. Or maybe it helps to talk to an almost unknown audience. Whatever, I'm done being rediculously mushy.

I'm looking forward to this weekend. I don't have anything clogging up my schedule so I think I'll finally get to kick back. Tomorrowz going to be rough though, I assure you. I've got loads of accounting due and very little time to do it in. Plus I have a test in health... Wait... I say that as if that would be challenging. Sorry... I just want to go hiking or camping or something. I think that would be good for me. Okay, so the first weekend I get away from the studio, I'm going to go camping. That will help me get my heart straight. That and a little more quite time and prayer. To you all I wish the best. Peace and love.