Storms and Clear Sky

I'm not seeing much clear sky right now. Every once in a while I'll catch a glimpse of the moon or maybe a star here and there, but it is pretty overcast right now. Turns out that these past few days have been building into a storm. It came through tonight offering heavy rain, high winds, and a few tornados that made for some inconvenience. I don't care about inconvenience right now though. There's only so much you can really let bother you or else you'll get overwhelmed. But the storm did provide time for me to think about what my life is becoming and what I must do to prepare for the vast changes ahead. I need to work on some of my weaknesses, one of which being my tendancy to take on a world of problems and ask for no help. I can't keep doing that. I've got to know where my limits are and I've got to let others help me. I've got to pick my battles a little more wisely than I have been doing.

But through all of this being burnt out and numb to adversity, I still feel alive. There are... other things... keeping me motivated and on my toes. One of which, but not completely is, the motivation of going home for Thanksgiving and doing NOTHING. I just want to eat, sleep, and visit family and friends. I don't want to worry about assignments or obligations. I just want to relax completely. So I look to that and I look to other motivations and I find myself a bit more at ease. Man must have hope to press on.

Did you ever immagine that you would become who you are now? Did you ever think as a child that such a turn of events would spit out as something so beautiful, or simple, or maybe even hideous? I don't remember what I expected of myself as a child. I don't think I ever looked that far ahead, but then, that was part of the unappreciated joys of childhood. I saw it today in the storm though. Those were the same kinds of dark clouds that used to roll in on my house in the late summer. I would walk to the kitchen door and stare out of the rickety old screen door at the enormous trees blowing frantically in the winds. It was an awe inspired fear that still rests in me today though I do enjoy it more now than then. It's as if God were trying to say "This... this is only a glimpse at our comparison."

I can enjoy that idea.

Now I must sleep. Sleep is the last line of defense before I go crazy. Oh, but before I do, this is a picture taken by Aaron of me getting ready to speed through the tornado on a mile long run to the appartments with a 30lb pack on full of pots, pans, cloths, and food for the last of the video shoots. Peace and love.