Onward, Upward

Monday... most people look at this day and expect it to be pretty bad. I was that "most people" last night, tossing and turning in my sleep with the fear of waking up to that awefull beeping noise. But my fears were falsely placed. Today was, in fact, a good day. I got most everything done on my list without hesitation. I got to take a long nap in the middle of it all, and I'm going to bed early.

At dinner time I alleviated some stress by turning on "Take on Me" by A-Ha and dancing irratically as my soup was warming up in the microwave. I finally bought a knife kit yesterday so I was actually able to carve up some of that chicken that I fixed a week ago. It made a pretty tastey sandwich if I do say so myself.

But I am in the middle of an ongoing issue in Pembroke. Women are on both sides of the building which might be thought of as a good thing... until drama starts up. I, myself, have been seriously analyzing my feelings on women at this stage in my life, and I must admit, I'm not motivated at all to even hint at a relationship anywhere in the near future. As long as they are in understanding that it's just for fun I'll flirt with some of my girl friends, but I'm pretty sure most of us are satisfied at leaving it at that. I'm at the point in my life where I don't feel like a serious female relationship could benefit me at all. Having said that (and admitting my present flaw of egotism) I also admit to not being in a state where I could handle the delicacies of the heart of a woman. I have come to the realization that I am in college, and only for a little longer. I should split my time between work and friends and not work, friends, and a relationship. Plus, I don't have the money for a relationship. I could maybe be creative and not spend anything, but then that would require even MORE time away from the other two importances in my life. But don't be fooled. First of all, I'm not mad at, or hiding from women, I'm just apathetic. Secondly, from my observations, it's apathetic guys like me that often get slugged in the back of the head by love. If it comes and I suddenly become remotivated, I won't feel like I'm shoving my foot in my mouth, but until, or even more so, IF that day ever comes, I'll be fine with it.

But the drama is thickening as the month of October steadily bares down upon us. For some reason there is more drama in that month than any other month of the year, but this year, I'm not so much worried about first person scenarios as I am getting caught up in someone else's. I'd rather just sit on the sides and help out where help is needed, but whatever. Either way I'd like to think that I'm ready (which is usually an indication that I am not, and being so, in need of spiritual growth and instruction). I'm just hoping that this year continues the way it is going and that I am spared the pain from past years.

Good day tomorrow. I'd better get some sleep. I hope all of you are doing well and that the weather where you reside is just as beautiful. Peace and love.