From Here to Summer and Back Again

There are going to be a great deal of alterations in my life starting officially tomorrow. That's right. Most of my things are packed and I'm now sitting in a naked room pondering once more. I sometimes ponder whether or not I ponder too much. Most likely I suppose, but it really depends on what I'm pondering. I said my goodbyes to the girl who changed my life this year, and though I thought I might cry, I did not. I never cry when I think I will... I guess I don't when I don't think I will either... but sometimes I just get these random urges that I suppress, though these mostly occur when I'm under enormous amounts of stress. But anyways, it was good conversation, or as good of conversation that I can have with someone of the opposite sex. I'm pretty awkward any time I talk to the ladies. I guess now that I think about it, I doubt she needed much closure on the whole situation, but I did, and I'm glad she went along with it for whatever it was worth. It was good for my heart, and I think that now I can go home with a clear mind, but of course that will be known when the time arrives. Speaking of which, that time shall arrive Monday morning at whatever time... I will turn my back from this place and try to forget about it as much as possible this summer in attempts to fully recoup and not still be burned out when I get back.

Tonight I watched a movie with Chubbs and a bunch of girls. It was nice because I didn't feel pressured at all to be a certain way... I felt comfortable just being me, possibly because I feel such a sense of ownership over this building, I don't think I could be anything but myself here... or maybe my mind is slowly gaining clarity... That's possible as well I suppose. All of that funk that I learned over the semester is slowly worming its way out of my head, making room for new thought and ideas. But me, being the kind of guy that likes to spend alot of time thinking, decided to take on the venture of cleaning and mopping both the laundry room and my hall's bathroom. It really is a good time to analyze what is on my mind; the dominate things that disturb me or that attract my attention in more pleasant ways. OH, and I also went dumpster diving with Chubbs and we found a possibly perfectly good 1980's TV camera with a really nice lense and such... but we'll see how much it is worth tomorrow. As for the mopping, I had to get a bit resourcefull by making the mop out of cloths that the absent minded youth left behind when they went home. I love the simple creative things in life... manipulating my surroundings to do my bidding... hehe.

So now I'm up again far beyond my bed time... It's been hard to sleep lately because my mind has been so full of upsetting thoughts, but when I get home, most likely I will catch up on my sleep just fine. But tomorrow I'll be helping Aaron move over to the commons and then my dad will be getting here later in the afternoon. That's when I'll start loading my stuff up. We'll probably all go out to eat for dinner... come back... maybe watch a movie on the big screen... and then go to bed. Monday I shall rise up and leave this place... to return many months from now... hope you all are coping well with life's turns. Peace and love.