so i haven't done a new journal in a long time. i'll give you that. there's just been so much going on around here. first off, last week was one of the worst weeks of my life, but i'm not complaning, and you'll hear why in a minute, but i really need to juice this thing for all it's worth before i say anything else. for starters i had two exams last week as soon as i got back from spring break. that was just a shame. i studied for 11 hours in psychology and got in there to take the exam and felt horrible about it. i felt like i had studied all that time in vain. next on the list is dissappointment. i found out last week that two of my friends, one of which talked me in to coming here in the first place, can't come next year because of money issues. i clearly understand the money issues. i don't think more than 20% of the students that go here actually go here comfortably, but it sort of bothered me that they were indifferent about it, and it bothered me that all the plans i had for next year weren't going to come to pass. the next news on the agenda was money related also. the school decided to up and take $1000 of my scholarship money with no reason sent to me. it was here, now it isn't. i wasn't quite sure why they would do such a thing. i mean i have done way better acedemically than anyone, myself included, expected, and i've kept up with all my credit hours. related to thisk, i was told to consider finding another school, prefferably one cheaper than belmont, to go to to finish my studies. i looked at montreat as far as their music business program goes and decided against that. i'm not even sure if they have their own music studio, let alone the connections here in nashville. and the program itself, or as far as the music part is concerned, is completely up to the student to learn. well, from taking music business courses already i've learned that there is no way you can teach yourself the business in four years by yourself, so i thought, if i leave belmont and i want to stay in school in the south east, i will seriously have to consider changing my major. i though, maybe i'll change my major to just business and go to chappel hill... but that thought ended up depressing me, but atleast they have a phi mu alpha chapter there. finally, the last straw on the cammel's back was my schedule. i had no time last week for anything, so i decided to make time. i really just needed to blow off steam and i can't really do that around lots of people, so i quarenteined myself to my room for an afternoon and just kicked back. it was nice and it got me back on track a little bit. as for the ra position, i had pretty much decided not to get my hopes up on that because my interviews and participation didn't go as well as i knew they could have gone, and there were plenty of people there that were perfectly capable of doing a fabulous job. anyways, sunday was my last day of darkness. i was skeptical of monday, but i just prayed for a while sunday night for my situation. i prayed that i would know where i would be by the next day. now these kinds of prayers are particularly hard for me becuase my faith is small in receiving something so huge within a time limit, but it was genuine. the next day i went on doing the monday things that i do waiting for the ra news to come and it did. i went down to open the letter and what did i find? i got in, i'm going to be an ra here at pembroke hall next year which means that i won't have to pay for my room, which means i'll have enough $ to stay. that's a prayer being answered in my book, and miraculous at that. needless to say, this week is going a whole lot better, and i've learned alot, both about myself physically and spiritually. hope all of you are still awake after reading this, and if you are, have a great day. peace and love