Sometimes I get into these positions where the people around me have great things happen to them and then I start thinking about myself and what is missing. I feel lacking, like I don't have as many important things to say, or maybe I'm not as considerate, or maybe I'm not as attractive. I know it's stupid to feel like that. I don't know why I still have a problem with it, but I have a feeling that things would make more sense to me if I were to just dodge myself. Stop thinking about what I have and don't have and just love people for all I can. I think that when I focus on myself, that's when I become overly concerned with "justice", what's fair and what's not.
One of the books I'm reading right now is from this old Japanese manuscript. It's called "Budoshoshinshu: The Warrior's Primer of Daidoji Yuzan". Basically it's the honor code of samurai and I already know I'm a huge nerd for reading it, but I don't really care. I was reading one part that I really agreed with. It said to focus on your mortality day and night. If you know that your life is just a brief moment, you will not take any amount of time for granted. The Bible also alludes to that on several occasions. I've been doing that lately and I feel like I'm paying less attention to what I think is fair, and I'm helping people more selflessly, and it is more fulfilling.
I'm out. Peace and love.
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