Oh No... I Guess They ARE Serious!

i was immersed in class today and i came to an important realization. my summer of spelunking is over. i am going to have to pick up study ethic once more and i'm going to have to get organized. not that i'm not organized right now, but i have to organize in a different way. it is the organization of papers and pencils and assignments that i must achieve. i am not disappointed in this realization though. it seems to be a nice change in pace that i shall be thankful for when my long lost, sun drowned intelligence returns to me. i will be able to function once more as a civilized human being, able to hold intelligent conversation with the occasional sly and witty remarks about how bad the caf food is. that being said, i went and had my first caf meal this week at dinner. i now remember why i have staved the caf for all this time, as my pizza was desicrated by cold cheeze and overly sweetened tomato sauce. my first week here i was almost excited by the proposition that the cafeteria might just have had an overhaul and we would be getting decent meals consistantly throughout the year. boy was i the fool...

another subject that has come to my realization lately is the fact that i haven't really had a deep thought in quite some time. as this would normally have me worried, i can look back to my summer at the pool and be able to give an immediate excuse as to why this is. not only was i working in the sun all day every day, but the environment wasn't exactly thought provoking nor profound. so here i am among higher education just waiting for that moment when something ground breaking enters my mind so that i might share it with all of you.

i suppose i could adress the issue of preperation tonight though, being that it is a suitable subject for the beginning of the unkown (such as school and a year of new responsibility). i was reminded by the viking today that i should not expect things to get worse, and he is absolutely correct in his thinking because when you expect things to go wrong, they usually do. instead we must prepare for things to go wrong. there are numerous age old sayings that go along with this proverb such as "never count your chickens before they hatch" or "expect the best but prepare for the worst". we tend to look at these sayings and then wander away with a feeling of contentment simply because the words seem to flow together, but we don't always give the words close thought. they do not SIMPLY mean anything because the meaning is often times very hard to practice. we can so easily get caught up in expectation that we forget who is in control, and this mentality can often lead us into sticky situations that we only wish we knew where to go from there. maintaining focus on God as the one in control is key, but sometimes that is even hard to do. i get caught up in my plans and my goals and then when something does go wrong, i get angry with God. so then i have to remind myself where the universe came from just in case i forgot that i didn't create life as we know it, and then it doesn't really seem so grim. why? because understanding that God has the best intentions for you is also a key to sane survival, and this can't be understood unless you are absolutely willing to stray from what you want and seek out what God wants from you. this is a lesson that i learn day to day, month to month, and year to year because i know what i want. that's easy. but knowing what God wants for me is a little harder said than done. it takes focus and discipline, and not just an agreement to be a christian. don't get me wrong, the focus and discipline aren't essentials for salvation, but they are a result. no man who says he is a christian remains stagnant. the rest of his or her life will be spent persuing the goal of becoming more holy, not because he or she must, not because he or she should, but because he or she truly loves the One they follow. if you truly loved someone with all of your heart, soul, and mind, you would do what they asked of you not because you feel obligated, but you desire it. that is the embodiment of the true Christian. salvation is the beginning and the road that follows is the battle for purity. this is one of the many things that sets christianity appart from every other religion. that and Jesus being the only one to die in my place.

so if you've read all this and you just can't get over how cheezy and cliche it all is, you might be expecting an appology, but it's not going to come this time. cliche or not, it's concrete and that's pretty much all i got to say. take a look at James though if you want more about such topics as these. James is one of my more favorite New Testament books. but anyways that felt pretty good. i haven't been able to think that clearly in quite some time. well, i'm off to bed all. i hope you all are facing life well. until later... peace and love.