Rainy Day = Good Day

the title is pretty self explanatory. today it rained us out of work at about four o'clock so therefore, i got off work early. i then went to show this new family that might be moving down here and coming to our church around town. we went to eat at chilli's and then went to putt putt. their kids are a bit younger than me at 12 and 16, but age has never been much of an obstical for me unless i really think about it. certain ages like 10 and under kinda freak me out. mainly because most kids that age really like me and i don't understand why. i know i'm not the most unlikeable guy, but still, they attract to me like magnets. i also don't know why they weird me out so much. is it because they're unpredictable? i know it's not because i don't remember what it is like to be that age because i'm one of the most nostalgic people on this planet, but the reason still alludes me. maybe it's just because i don't feel like i can act like myself around them. i bet that's it. i don't want to hurt them, but i also don't think acting like myself would be as entertaining to them. considering all this, i don't really like acting. i can act, but i feel fake when i do, so i really just don't like it. now for some reason this reminds me of another issue. i've been having a bit of trouble with one of the guys i work with. this is his first year at the pool and he is young. i also think this might be his first job, but there are just some things that he does that employees don't do. first of all, in rank i am his superior, but i don't like to hold that over people. i consider myself to be pretty layed back when considering most of the people i have worked for (which is alot). anyways, he seems very argumentative as a person in general, but he gives a big attitude when i tell him to do anything that he doesn't want to do. this is not the way the work force operates in the real world. when an emplyee that is over you asks you to do something, you do it without question. that's just the way it works. but with him, he always gives lip. like today for instance the girls in concessions were pageing me by walky-talky and he started fighting with this girl over who was going to answer it. i told him to cut it out and give it to me because it could have been an emergency and he got this big attitude with me about throwing my weight around as an assistant manager. now i'm the kind of guy who doesn't like to be agressive, but if i must be to get this guy to cooperate, i will. i think the majority of it is just immaturity that he will grow out of, but it bothers me all the same. i think that he thinks that since he's worked there for a week that he's a pro, but he's got another thing coming. first off, he's never made a save before. note i do have full confidence that he can do it, but it changes your perspective on the job when you make your first one. second, he has never worked the 4th of july and seen just how crazy that place can get. finally he's never seen the wrath of our head boss, and once that happens (and it will) he will be a new man. i will continue to work with him though. it will teach me patience and boldness, and maybe mature him a little bit. course i remember how i felt at that age. i knew everything and more. it's only when you go to college and stop living at home that you realize just how little you know. but oh well, such is life. everyone must jump through that hoop i guess. another something that got me thinking today was this girl that i work with who told me that i look sad and alone when i walk around. i immediately told her that that was just how i looked and i really wasn't sad, and i guess she was foolish enough to believe it. i guess i try to fool myself sometimes, but i really do wish i could find my soul mate. i think God has put such instinct in all men close to my age becasue this is the part of my life where it isn't outlandish to start thinking about the big M. it's kind of like getting your driver's license. when you're 10 years old you start thinking about how liberating that day is going to be, but when you're thirteen, you start actually saving up for a car and getting ready for driver's ed. on top of that, i still have to try and forget what's-her-face even though i hear about her almost every day. one of my co-workers dates her younger sister. so all of these things lead me in to a state of silent sadness and lonliness. usually when i'm not exhausted i'm pretty good at hiding it, but sometimes it shows. i think though, that it is a step. in order to be forever happy with your soul mate, you must first know what it is like to be lonely. as for me right now, i'm going to watch peter pan (yes, the old disney peter pan) and then i'm going to bed. hope to talk to you all tomorrow. peace and love...