Sunny Day Extrovert

I've figured it out. I know what the problem is. The factor that defines whether or not I feel introverted or extroverted is the sunlight and warm weather. I don't think I could possibly be reclusive on a day like today. It was so amazing outside! I've been playing frisbee like a dog though, and it's starting to ware down on my body. No matter. I love throwing frisbee.

Matt and I also did a lot of mixing both some of our sessions and a project I'm working on for Clayton. I'm learning a lot and I really have enjoyed the final products. Also in the musical side of announcements, our show is coming up on Saturday night at 7 o'clock. You should be there if you can. If you can't, it will be video taped so no worries, but we'd love to have your energy present at the actual show. We expect to have a pretty decent showing. Lot's of people want to come and support us which makes me happy. It's really great to see something you've put so much time and effort into finally come to fruition.

Oh, here we go. I'm wrestling with a new idea. I'm sorta feeling like I need to learn how to dance... as much as I hate dancing. I think that I would have it in me to appreciate it more if I could actually do it, plus, I feel like I have a lot of potential. Potential or not, though, it's all about whether or not I have time. Time is key. But to me, it's crazy how much girls like dancing. I was on rounds tonight and I wound up in the middle of a dance party and all of these girls kept trying to pressure me to dance, but I just didn't feel like it. I cut loose, but I don't cut loose in a setting like that. My "cutting loose" is more objective. I like flippin out with my close friends doing something that has an objective rather than flippin out with strangers with no objective at all. Sure, granted there were a few people there that I knew, but I just didn't want to do it. Again, I probably would have if I actually knew how. See, a woman who doesn't know how to dance can just look good standing there and swaying to the music... A guy that does the same thing just ends up looking stupid and awkward. In fact... now that I think about it... The only reason I would ever watch MTV or VH1 is because sometimes they have those scenes in the club where there's this guy who thinks he's hot stuff just bein a complete log in between two girls who are actually dancing. That's all I think those channels are good for. Otherwise I just can't wrap my mind around television that could be more shallow and more mindless than what comes on those stations. I think that every negative connotation that is attached to the American culture is very accurately and very seriously displayed on those channels.

Now that I have spoken my peace about what used to be Music television. I shall drift off to bed. Peace and love.

It All Added Up to This

Who would have thought that when my parents first layed eyes on eachother it would turn into this. Here I am, 21, almost 22 years old. I have my own problems and my own successes. When I was a child I couldn't have immagined seeing this far down the road, yet here I am. But yet there is a level of dissatisfaction floating around in my head. I am dissappointed because I have already experienced so much at a young age. I've been around the world. I've lived in luxury and in poverty. I've driven all sorts of different cars. I've slept in mansions and in mud huts. I've had really hot girlfriends. I've done risky and extreme things like skiing, rock climbing, hunting, and camping by myself. I've been to four oceans. I've been to weddings and funerals. I've eaten all sorts of exotic foods. I've played music for both people who did and didn't care. I've saved lives. I have an old girlfriend who is both married and a mother. I've witnessed some of the most perfect sunsets I could immagine and sunrises as well. I'm incredibly expreienced for my age which makes me wonder... What is the rest of my life going to amount to?

So what haven't I done that I still look forward to? I haven't experienced true love and its... benefits... I haven't experienced fatherhood. I haven't expreienced my own plot of land. I haven't experienced a created legacy. I haven't expreienced my own death.

Now I know there are some things that make life feel more enjoyable that unexpectedly leap out at you, but I just feel too content for my age. Nothing really surprises me anymore. There is nothing that I hear, see, taste, touch, smell, or sense in any other way that just blows me away. So I ask myself, "what's left?" I feel like I've had the majority of the best I could have in the very beginning like a sprinter in a crosscountry meet. All I get to do now is drag my body to the end of the race, heaven all the while looking more and more appealing. That sounds depressing, but I'm not depressed. I don't know, maybe something will even happen to change my perspective...

Haha... like right now maybe. I just opened up my Bible to the record keeping pages and realized that I could only fill in like two differnet lines in there... Pretty funny if you ask me. Peace and love.

To Feel

Church this morning wasn't quite as thought provoking as it usually is, but of course, it was a different speaker. I disagreed with several of his points. First off, I do not believe that the purpose of the Holy Spirit living in us is to point out all the times in a day when we screw up. A guide, as he called it, doesn't rest on that function as its main purpose. A guide will direct and teach. Sometimes we are guided through correction, but He's not sitting in a chair behind a chalk board marking tallies. Second, I am always wary about sermons that bring up the topic of Satan. So many people automatically assume that because both God and Satan do not keep a visible form that Satan must also be omnipresent. Sure, he has powers that shouldn't be scoffed at, but he's not powerful enough for omnipresence. That's giving him too much credit. Besides, James points out that our sins are usually a result of the nature within us. I bring that up because generally, by our nature, we are tempted to cast blame on others, even towards the Devil if there is a convincing enough case to show that the shoe fits. I've always felt that if the Devil were to directly tempt me, it would be a great honor because the only people we know of who have had a person-to-being confrontation with Satan were of amazing significance. There was Adam and Eve, Job, Joshua, and Jesus himself. This is all opinion, but it seems to make sense to me, and from my experience, you can't really confuse demonic presence with influence from human sin temptation.

I just don't believe that demonic experiences are very frequent here. Why? I like to view it from a military standpoint. You have to pick your targets decisively and concentrate where there is the most threat. Demonic presence isn't much of a problem in our culture because we are already too busy fighting our own vices. We glorify money, posessions, knowledge, and time. These are man-made idols we are able to glorify within the physical rhelm which leads us to feel secure. I believe that this is the reason why there are very few interferences. The movie "The Usual Suspects" puts it very well in saying that "The greatest trick the Devil ever played was to convince the world that he doesn't exist."

Earlier today I did get the opportunity to ride with Brady on his new motorcycle. It was a lot of fun, but it gave me a better perspective as to how dangerous they really are. I'm good at creating simulations in my mind of exactly how something could happen. Riding that fast with nothing between me and the road but balance and some thin cloths added up to "maybe this isn't a great idea." Still... it was fun. Death always adds fun to the factor (atleast in the mind of a young adult male).

Now I feel sorta sick. I mean I've been sick along with the majority of campus since last week, but for some reason it got worse today. I got a pretty bad stomach ache and a head ache. I just took my temperature... it's normal. Ah, but tomorrow I'm going to be so busy. Schedules fill up pretty fast these days. I've got alot on my mind right now, and I need to find a way to work that off. That being said, I think I'm going to try and get back into the gym. I generally feel good after I work out unless I work out too hard.

What's some of the stuff that's been on my mind? Well... I have realized just how awkward I am around women now-a-days. I'm pretty sure I've earned the title of "creepy". You'd think that's bad, but what is really bad is the fact that I don't really care. So what happened? I used to be great around girls in middle school and high school. I'll tell you what happened. Living in a male dorm for three years solid happened. I've been so immersed in "man life" that I have completely forgotten how to relate with women. You know those girly girls that are so extreme that they really just freak guys out and most girls. I am the male equivilant to that. I've become so much of a guy that I just freak girls out. They don't understand me anymore. This is unacceptable. So what is my solution? I'm going to (as painful as it may seem) immerse myself in women. I'm going to meet new women and get to know them and retrain myself to be sensative towards our differences. I am going to be... a gentleman again. I've got the guts, but I don't know if I've got the finesse. I have a feeling that this is going to take some serious time, dedication, and motivation.

I'll let you know how it all goes. Hope everybody out there gets to enjoy the weather this week. I hear it's going to be pretty nice. If you read this and go to Belmont, don't forget to come and see our show next Saturday at the Curb at 7 o'clock. We picked the band name Matt's Automan today (sorta kindly poking at Mike's Chair). The truth of it is, Matt doesn't actually have an automan. Oh, and finally, can someone tell me how to get a good night's sleep? No matter what I do and how much sleep I get, I wake up in the morning and I feel like crap. My joints are stiff, my eyes hurt, and my bones are soar. This morning before church I experienced an early morning peace (at 10am) that I would really like to be a part of on a regular basis. I generally just don't participate because the process of waking up is so painful. I don't like doing it unless I have a class that forces me out. The funny thing is that it has always been like this. I tend to blame my heartrate. Most people have a resting heart rate of 55-60 but mine sits around 38-42. I'm not a doctor though, so I really don't know. I'll tell you what though. I wake up feeling fully charged if I take sleeping pills before I go to sleep, but I don't do that hardly ever because that's bad for you. Whatever. All this talk about sleep has got me in the mood. Peace and love.

Me and My Friend Bed

My body hurts. My body hurts in a way that is hard to describe. It's a complication of sleeplessness, the inability to control my motor skills, and working on my car all day yesterday. I gotta say though, that the work on my car was a liberating experience even though it did almost kill me. I wish I could say that I'm done, but not quite. Everything is put back together (I think). Now I just have to put fluid back in, crank it up, and pray that there are no leaks. In the midst of my mechanical struggle yesterday I did find something to be thankful for. It is quite nice indeed to have such skinny arms. When you have to reach through the narrow spaces under the hood of a car, nothing helps quite like two toothpick arms like mine.

I just got done with my morning classes. I was thinking about working on my car more before my evening class, but then I decided that... no... sleep is what I need most. I've stopped participating in philosophy class as much. There is alot that I would like to say, but you come to a place where you realize that opening your mouth is not benefiting anyone so you might as well keep it closed. It is discouraging to let some of the things he says go unchallenged, but if someone really wants to know what I think, they will ask me. Audio class has been good though. If it weren't so early I would have to say that it has become my most engaging class. Op amps, compression, gating, expanding, keying, chaining, serial and parallel. All of these are concepts that I now better understand. He did remind us today, however, that though we are becoming scientists in our fields, not to forget the often times neglected creative aspects of it. It is easy to do, I admit. You start thinking so much of the sciences and mechanics of an action that you forget its beauty.

Well... I'm going to take that nap I've been longing for. After that I will throw in some laundry, work on my car, go to business management and then maybe go to the store (if I did indeed fix my car). Peace and love.

I Once Saw the Sun Shine in Nashville

Well, it seems that the good weather has left us for a while. It is cold and rainy again and my spirits have a really hard time staying high in the midst of cold rain. And speaking of cold, I have one. It is in my head and no matter what I say to it, it won't leave. I should probably feel flattered that it prefers my head over someone else's. Oh well. I ordered a new radiator for my car today. I have discovered that you can always find something better and cheaper on-line. The mechanic said I wouldn't be able to find anything within a $150 price range... He was wrong.

I probably say this alot in my journals, but I guess it just happens alot. I feel like things are coming into focus for me. That doesn't mean that everything is working out my way, it just means that I can see where I'm going. I feel pretty good about it. The strangest things put me back into perspective.

I could really use a good old-fasion camping trip, but that's not going to happen for a while. I need to think about finding a second job, prefferably something that can carry over to the summer. I could always consider lifeguarding again... One of my friends said he knew of a local pool that was looking to hire two head guards for the summer at decent wages. I don't know about that. I have too many horrible memories of lifeguarding. Maybe I want to try something new. Maybe valet parking would work well. Brian does it in Arizona and he seems to like it. You make decent money and you get to drive all sorts of neat cars. Plus, I can drive stick and I have a clean driving record so I bet I could get the job. Whatever, I'll think of something. UPS is always a posibility as well. I just want new experiences. I've decided that new experience is the root of all my best memories. That's probably the case for everybody, and maybe it's obvious for most, but for me, I just caught on. My eyes are getting heavier though. I suppose sickness makes me drag more than usual. I usually have to fight myself to sleep at this hour on most nights, but not tonight. I just want to sleep and dream and not have to wake up at 7:45, but unfortunately only two of those three will actually happen... maybe even one, who knows? Tomorrow I'll probably have something more valuable to write about, but until then, peace and love.

Here's What I Think

To answer my brother's question, when there is cymbal noise coming back in the feed from the pastor's lapel mic there is only one clear solution in my mind, though I could be wrong. I would immagine that you have several stage wedges (monitors) set up so that the performers can hear clearly on stage. I would first make sure that the pastor's vocals are not going through the monitor as too hot of a signal. He doesn't need much monitor feed because it is just his voice on stage and monitors are, again, generally set up so that the performer(s) can hear what he and/or everyone else on stage is doing clearly, though I suppose it is fun for speakers to hear their voices booming through amplification. Reguardless, make sure to turn down the levels on the monitor. Also, and what is probably the key problem, is how many monitors you are feeding the vocal through. There should be a monitor right next to the drum kit, if this is so, make sure that this monitor is not getting ANY feed through it from the vocal. The sound coming through that monitor will cause the cymbals and snare spring to resonate and it could get pretty messy depending on the volume and consistancy of the sound. Finally, if I remember correctly, and assuming that we are referring to CBC's set up, the drums are set off stage to the direct front. This COULD cause some sticky situations to arise from the mains (front of house speakers). If your drum wedge is not getting any feed from vocals, depending on the relationship of where the drums are set up to where the mains are aimed, you might still get the same resonating effect on the cymbals. If you still get problems when the drum monitor is muted, I would try repositioning the drums, possibly pushing them back a bit if that is possible. My guess would be, however, that you are getting most of your rattle from the high hat being that the two metal pieces are almost touching and with any slight air disturbance they might contact and cause a disturbance. Considering that, also make sure that the drum kit isn't sitting near an airconditioning vent, though if my memory serves me right, I don't think they are.

Long to short: turn speaker's voice feed through monitors down, turn drum monitor off, still a problem, reposition drums in relationship to mains. I will ask someone with a little bit more knowledge than I if that is close to a solution.

The Air Smelled Like Beauty

Wow, so I suppose alot has happened since I posted last. That's sorta strange being that I usually am sitting still in a stagnant pool of boredom. The week ever since spring break ended has been nuts though. So Monday night I went to a recording session at RCA B for eight hours. Let me tell you, I've never had so much fun in the studio before. We all got along and we ended up laying down two songs with enough time to slap down creative input. That was refreshing. Tuesday, however, was anything but refreshing. I woke up and went to my eight o'clock class with huge bags under my eyes. I was so tired when we got out at 9:15 that I skipped philosophy to sleep. When I woke up from that I had to run a community service program for the Christian Music Association and I didn't know where it was. As I was driving, and running late, my car's radiator decided that it wanted to get a crack in it and start rapidly draining fluid all over my engine. That started to smoke so I pulled over and got a new jug of anti-freez to top it off for a trip back to campus. Well, I don't know what I'm going to do now. I think I might just end up waiting for it to get warmer and I might get a bike or something. Ah, but anyways, I go to math class after that and I have a panic attack in class because I realize tha I have no idea what the teacher is talking about, so failing looked pretty inevitable. I've never failed before and I don't plan on it. I left there and went to business management and then to my recording engineer class. That was an interesting class because the producer from Six Pence and Newsboys came in and talked to us about his experiences, the only thing is that the class ran over fifteen minutes. I had a meeting at that exact same time, so I left and then ran over a mile to get back to campus. The fraternity meeting started and my day finally picked up. Everyone was in high spirits and ended up getting elected as president of the fraternity. It is a very exciting honor.

Yesterday went rather well. I got alot done I suppose. I've been playing alot of frisbee. Then late last night I had an epiphany. I was working a math problem, getting alot of nothing done. I realized that... I could drop the class and not fail. So today, that's what I did. I dropped the class and I feel great now. I've had so much energy, I even asked a girl out for coffee today that I didn't even know just because. I mean she didn't respond very well and I'm quite glad she didn't have any pepper spray, but hey, I love being awkward and unconventional me just as long as I'm not shot with a stun gun for it.

Now it is tonight and Belmont lost the first round of the NCAA tournament. I had a dream last night that they were going to. I'm not saying it was prophetic by any means. UCLA had huge odds. I'm just glad that they got to go I guess.

Oh, and I just got off the front porch. I was smoking my pipe and listening to my "beauty" playlist. I love just being able to sit back and admire beauty and talk to God. The air was so crisp and the sky was clear. Everything was as it should be. Hope it is the same for you. Peace and love.

Are You Back Yet?

I got back from Arizona last night. I enjoyed spring break in its entirity, though I'm not sure if I'm quite ready for it to be over. I would have liked more time to recharge. Oh, and just in case you are ever tempted, the Shoney's seafood buffet is a bad choice...

Rockin it out in AZ

I'm in Arizona right now with Brian and Brandt. We've been cruzing around doing all sorts of stuff for the past two days. It's absolutely beautiful here. It's desert and cactus all around with the occasional bald mountain. Yesterday we hiked up Camel Back Mountain. Let me tell you, the Appalachain hiking trails have nothing on these mountains. That's not to say that these mountains are any taller, because they definitaly are more considerable as tall hills than mountains, but there are no restrictions on the type of trail you climb. We were climbing rock face with cliff on the other side. If you slip up, you die. That was alot of fun, especially wearing shoes with no tred. I was slippin and slidding all around, but I was never in any real danger (hehe). The weather is beautiful. It has been an unhumid consistant 70 degrees since I got here. Brian drives a Cadillac and we go with the windows down. It sorta makes me want a Cadillac to be honest. I forgot how roomy and smooth they are. I'm learning alot about the cactus here. There's that really tall thick cactus that you see alot in cartoons called the sajuara. They're protected because they only grow here in the Sonora desert. They actually weigh about a ton a piece because they're full of water and they have a wooden rib structure for reinforcement. Then there are the prickely pair cactus which are the bush like cactus that have the flat ovular chip leaves. Then there are the cholla cactus and the jumping cholla. The jumping cholla looks like it will literally jump off of its branch just to stab you with needles. They look like a twiggy bush covered with a fur of needles.
Last night we watched "The Grizzly Man". I don't really want to say too much about it other than it's hillarious if you don't assume that the man has serious psychological issues. Sometimes people are just really stupid, other times people are just really sick in the head. Oh, and the food here is glorious. After some authentic Mexican food today, I passed out for two and a half hours. I feel pretty good and pretty stress free. Talk to you later. Peace and Love.