Why Think About Marriage?

So for the past few days I've been thinking about marriage, not because it's a favorite topic of mine, but because i had this vivid dream the other night that I was getting married the next day. I found myself in the dream feeling all of these confusing emotions and thinking all these challenging thoughts. I realized then that I would be spending the rest of my life with this girl... wow... so is she the right one? You know we'll probably fight sometime, what are you planning to do about that? How will you act? How will you respond? You're going to have to shift and mature your responsibilities. Can you handle it? I can't tell you how amazingly crazy this dream was though. I was back in my home town and I was driving with my family, but everything had this milky haze over it, more than I'd ever seen before. I though maybe it was smog or maybe it was humidity, but it couldn't have been. Anyways, I saw all of my friends and I realized that life was about to take a huge leap for me. Nothing would ever be the same. Was I satisfied with living my single life? Was I ready to make such a strong committment?

I used to dismiss these thoughts back about a year ago. It wasn't until several happenings over the summer that I was awoken to one reality. With my goals in mind, it wouldn't be too out of the question to start looking for a wife now. I decided in high school I wouldn't date casually again because that just gets you needlessly hurt, and as I was hiding in the comfort of my masculinity slowly the need for women faded (but did not die out). But this summer, God put something in my heart. It's a lonliness that I feel. Not a loniless due to lack of friends, because I have many great and loyal friends, but a lonliness for the part of my soul that I have not yet found. That one person out there that completes me and makes me that final piece that God has designed me to be. I've always thought of it like thinking about getting your driver's license. When you're 10 years old, it's just a distant dream to have your license and you always think of what you could do with such power. But by age 14 you are realizing that your dream is closing in and that it also comes with a new level or responsibility. In turn you start practicing driving and saving money for a car, educating yourself in every way possible. So that's where I am right now. I think I'm ready to sign up for Marriage Ed.

So what now? I don't know, but I've got a few ideas. I know that God isn't going plop my future wife through the ceeling or anything. Nothing comes without some sort of effort in life on our part. Why else would God give us a brain? But anyways, I figure I've got to look. I know what I want, or sort of. I want first and foremost someone who I can talk to: Someone who can be there for me no matter what. Having a great time together also seems to be important, but with my chaotic mind, that will be hard to find. I suppose those are the descriptions of a friend, but those are the most important to me because I've poured myself into people in the past that gave nothing back in return and that's no fun. Friends is good though, and I'm not talking about casual friends, but the kind of friend you call when you're upset and talk to. That's the kind of friend relationship I wish my marriage to be built on. That's all I've really decided on as of right now. I think if that works out then everything else will pretty much fall into place. I must ready myself though. I'm anything but ready as far as the needed maturity level is concerned. I also couldn't support a wife right now simply because... I DON'T HAVE A JOB!

I suppose we all want that magic moment though. You know, when time freezes up and you stand staring breathless at her and she stares back at you and then you know "she's the one". Funny as this sounds, I don't think that happens. I think sometimes the two most unlikely couples end up together. They might meet eachother on bad terms or they might find eachother despicable, but then they get married. I honestly hope I'm not that guy, though I wouldn't complain because the only way I'd marry a girl is if I were completely in love with her. But I want that magic moment while at the same time having the rollercoaster of a beginning relationship. Perfection in these instances, I find to be boring. Who wants to know that the "he" or "she" is perfect right off the bat. No tough times to season a relationship. No work or effort. It's like early retirement. All you do is sit around the house naked and watch tv while all of your friends go to work, so you wind up building a workshop in your garage and breaking furniture around the house just so you can put it back together agian. In the mean time, you're putting on extra weight and you develop a pale complexion as you haven't been compelled to put on cloths and step outside in some great length of time. You begin to stuble upon Re-run soaps only to find yourself quoting the lines as the Chineese take-out boxes rise higher and higher towards the ceeling. And don't even think about shaving, that's right out of the question. Who's going to put on cloths and go to the store to get extra razor blades? I didn't think so. Everything that comes to your house either gets there by mail via internet or by delivery boy. All of this will change of course when your new golf cart arrives. Yes, the golf cart that every young man has always dreamed of having so they can drive around the neighborhood and go to little league games and yell at the ump... and maybe the pitcher, all of this only to procalim that "Yes, I have NO JOB!" Wow, what a tangent I have run off on! I shall let you all get on with your business now. Have a blessed day. Peace and love...