Dreams and Reminders

I woke up this morning before I wanted to, but not because I felt tired and needed to sleep more. I actualy felt quite refreshed. My desire to keep hitting my snooze button spurred from a dream I had last night. If you ready my journal from yesterday, I wrote on how jaded I am to the idea of love. I don't feel like it's real anymore. Well... dreams are funny sometimes. I can only think that God tagged this one on my bedpost last night because it reminded me in a powerful way that it's not lost hope for me just yet. Impatience is what bothers me most... so I must learn to wait.

I'm pretty scruffy tonight, but hey, that doesn't usually last too long. My job requires that I keep well groomed, but I was pushing the envelope yesterday and today I'm over the edge. I like feeling dirty though. I feel more free... more smelly certainly, but again, more free. I realize more and more each day that I'm really not the kind of person that likes to be bound up by society. I am motivated by limitlessness (in most cases). I like doing new things too. I like new expreiences just for the sake that they are new, not even for the activity in itself. Today, for instance, I was wearing my church cloths and Matt and I decided to go to the quad and throw frisbee. A few minutes into our casual tossing, a storm developed with ground hitting lightning and heavy rains. Instead of leaving, we put our valuables in my car and just kept playing. We left drenched, but I felt satisfied because it was a new experience.

So right now I'm listening to one of my church's sermons on CD that I got today. This one is of last weeks and the other one is from today, but I've taken a liking to it. I get more of a chance to analyze what is said, to mull through it, to chew it up. I'm trying to learn to let go of my worries. I have a lot to chew this year. I might be in over my head. But when I worry and get stressed out over things that I have very little control over, I waste not just my time, but the people's around me. I give my best all the time, and considering that and considering that God has always seen to my needs, I shouldn't be too worried about what happens next year or the year after. It all works out just fine in the end.

Peace and love.