It All Added Up to This

Who would have thought that when my parents first layed eyes on eachother it would turn into this. Here I am, 21, almost 22 years old. I have my own problems and my own successes. When I was a child I couldn't have immagined seeing this far down the road, yet here I am. But yet there is a level of dissatisfaction floating around in my head. I am dissappointed because I have already experienced so much at a young age. I've been around the world. I've lived in luxury and in poverty. I've driven all sorts of different cars. I've slept in mansions and in mud huts. I've had really hot girlfriends. I've done risky and extreme things like skiing, rock climbing, hunting, and camping by myself. I've been to four oceans. I've been to weddings and funerals. I've eaten all sorts of exotic foods. I've played music for both people who did and didn't care. I've saved lives. I have an old girlfriend who is both married and a mother. I've witnessed some of the most perfect sunsets I could immagine and sunrises as well. I'm incredibly expreienced for my age which makes me wonder... What is the rest of my life going to amount to?

So what haven't I done that I still look forward to? I haven't experienced true love and its... benefits... I haven't experienced fatherhood. I haven't expreienced my own plot of land. I haven't experienced a created legacy. I haven't expreienced my own death.

Now I know there are some things that make life feel more enjoyable that unexpectedly leap out at you, but I just feel too content for my age. Nothing really surprises me anymore. There is nothing that I hear, see, taste, touch, smell, or sense in any other way that just blows me away. So I ask myself, "what's left?" I feel like I've had the majority of the best I could have in the very beginning like a sprinter in a crosscountry meet. All I get to do now is drag my body to the end of the race, heaven all the while looking more and more appealing. That sounds depressing, but I'm not depressed. I don't know, maybe something will even happen to change my perspective...

Haha... like right now maybe. I just opened up my Bible to the record keeping pages and realized that I could only fill in like two differnet lines in there... Pretty funny if you ask me. Peace and love.