well well well... could it be that i have started a new semester? yes it is true. i had a wonderful break at home doin all sorts of stuff, but in short i suppose that mainly included working and hanging out. now i'm back to school. i have to try my hardest to take things seriously again this semester, but i'm sure i'll be interested in most of my classes. brian boggs drove me back today. the ride was long as usual, but we made it intact. everything was clean when i got here, which was exactly opposite of the way it was when i left, so that was refreshing. also, my bamboo survived my absence. i think it may have even thrived while i was gone the ungreatful little weed (i speak disgruntled because it was dying while i was here). anyways, at home got to see all of my friends. they were good times except for a bit of chilling information that i caught ahold of from some sources. seems that one of my friends doesn't care to see/talk to me anymore. i must admit that it wasn't really nice to be the last person to know about it. i was also stumped for the longest time as to what i did wrong. for the most part i treat all of my friends equally. i call for them or show up at their door, and if they aren't there i call until they are. i talked to one of them about this and they said that that's what they expect me to do, cause that's what i've always done. when i hang out with my friends, i discuss just about anything that comes to mind, and have never really had a problem with it, so i know it's not that. i guess i have just been missunderstood. i guess that's just the while life flows. it's funny though. i think people get this initial idea of who you are, and no matter what you do, it can never improve, though it can always get worse. i wonder if this is human nature, or a characteristic that we develope on our own. reguardless, i haven't given up on mankind yet. though this is a loss, it is also a lesson on self conduct or maybe the conduct of others... though i'm still trying to find out which, i know the answer is there somewhere. i suppose this opens up a new discussion on who i am. i find great respect for people who are courageous enough to, when they have controversy with someone, meet them face to face and tell them of their situation. i suppose cowardice is a trait that is engrained in all of us at one point or another. i'm not the biggest fan of controversy, but some people are consumed by cowardice. they cannot say no when they should, nor can they say yes. they flea from controversy because they fear pain. unfortunately pain is inevitable in life, though some are more prepared to triumph over it than others. and why do i speak as if i had knowledge of such things? it's because i was there at dead bottom of the courage meter once. i know that fear and how damaging it can be. well, i hope everyone has a wonderful week. oh and by the way, i'm not mad. it takes alot to make me mad, though i am a bit dumbfounded. God bless.