okay, well this week has almost drawn to a close, and i've gotten more done that last week i suppose. i got my RA application filled out and turned in a whole two days early! that's pretty impressive for my work ethic... oops... i just realized that the ranch dressing i bought says "refrigerate after opening"... i've left it out for about a week now... oh well. back to the topic! i'm really just trying to get back into some sort of disciplined groove. it's hard, but i'll get there eventually. another cool thing about this week, but more specifically today, was that a few of us guys on the hall started a bible study. it is nice to finally have some accountability around here because not having it was beginning to ware on me just a bit. anyways, it's supposed to snow here tonight and a little bit in the morning. i doubt it will enough to cause any sort of stagnation in my schedule tomorrow, but who cares, it's friday! i don't really know what i'm going to do this weekend. the fraternity is going to be holding a table in the curb atrium and we're going to be singing, so that should be fun. i love singing with my fraternity. i suppose i'll also do a bit more recording over the weekend too. i really need to practice that stuff cause so far i've only put out one decent song. it really really is a new artform. the more i do it, the more i realize that truth. oh well... another thing i need to work on is going to bed a little earlier, so i'm off. i know it was a little shorter than usual, but not much has really happened lately. i'll see what i can get myself in to though... you know... to make the journal reading a little more interesting. see, i think i've lost some readers which doesn't really bother me too much, cause i'm mostly doing this to organize my thoughts, but still, i like to please those who still do read it. atleast i know my mom still does. thanks mom.
goodnight!

i suppose it is a good thing for me to take a moment out of my week and put my thoughts down in writing. of course, these thoughts are still selective primarily due to the fact that everyone in the world could read them if they wanted to, and i enjoy some means of privacy. it really does make me think, as well as put a worth on my day, as to what is important enough to note. today was pretty nice. i only had two classes cause my last one was canceled for who knows why. because of that i got to do a little bit of recording on my new home studio, which was great. i ended up putting four hours into it today, only to trash the whole project. i'm just very picky, and this is the kind of art where pickyness is ok. so far i've only recorded one song that i really like, but it is a new artform for me. it's really fun, even though i'm not that good at it now. i figure it's worth it though being that i will be doing this for the rest of my life... or atleast i want to. i know it's been a while since i wrote my last journal (about weight training), but that's just because i've been soar... extreemely soar. part of it is due to sunday early morning. yeah, some guy pulled the fire alarm at five am sunday morning and i had to go running outside in the 35 degree pouring rain wearing NOTHING but my pajama bottoms and wait untill they let us back in. the cold made all my muscles tense up and i had a massive muscle cramp all over my entire body all the next day. on top of that, today was arm and chest workout again, and these were my most soar muscles. so far i'm doing okay, but a night sleep tends to bring out the worst in things. another interesting happening today was chubb's birthday. chubbs is my RD and we all love him. we love him enough to get cowboy to walk in to his apartment at midnight with a boom box and start acting like a male stripper... don't worry, it was just acting... but it was hillarious! right now i must go to bed. it's supposed to snow today and tomorrow here (about time) but it's still 45 degrees, so i'm not counting on any cancelations tomorrow... i mean it was 60 degrees today here, and that's normal! there's six inches of snow on the ground at home, and it's 60 here?!? oh well, i'm just a little flustered, but i'll survive. g-night.

i'm finally back in to my spring time work out groove. see, i've been working out every day of the spring semester for the past three years just to keep physically fit and not quite as skrawny. the disadvantage i have though is that i can never look incredibly big as i have both a small bone structure, and hyper metabolism. i'm serious, i can't even digest animal fat, so no matter what i can't gain wait. this poses a problem in that fat is one of the key components in building muscle, so i don't have much muscle mass. also, since i cannot gain any body fat, though i get cut very quickly, my muscles also are eaten much quicker than most people's. this is called muscular atrophy, and it happens when the muscles aren't continually worked out. the only difference for me is that my hyper metabolism, when not having body fat to eat, eats on my muscles. this is why i enjoy working out. i just feel better about most everything. and though i may not be the strongest guys on the block, i can lift my body weight which is above average. enough about working out though... anyways, i'm extra soar tonight so i'm gunna have to cut this thing short so i can get a good night sleep. here's a secret you might like to know... i have no laundry detergent. this means that i've been wearing the same cloths for almost two weeks now, and the cologne i'm wearing is starting to loose the battle against the stinky that i wish to hide. i think i'm gunna borrow some from my neighbors tomorrow to get the essentials washed, but i should be going to the store this weekend. also, as far as my diet is concerned, i am cutting back on the caf. all i am going to allow myself to eat from now on is salads, soups, and cerial. the reason being is that i, and many other of my fellow dorm mates, have come down with pretty stubborn illnesses that we connect to the caf. why? because when we went home for christmas break, we were fine, but a few days after we got back... BAM!!! we were sick again. this has called for drastic measures. i'm thinking about even starting a club that might petition the school's food distribution. after all, i pay lots of money to go here. atleast serve me something BESIDES ecoli for breakfast and hep a for dinner! so far though, the diet is working. i feel stronger and more alert and, along with my vitamins, more prepared to take on the day... which is in just a few hours so i must be off to bed. tootles all.

okay, today... good day. not much to recap on. slept till noon, hung out with the fellas, got prepared for classes tomorrow... all that good stuff. it wasn't as productive as i thought it would have been, but that's just the procrastinating side of me, which i consider to be my more adventurous side. as for that mouse i was talking about last night... well... he seems to be more illusive than i originally thought. he hasn't touched that twizzler yet, so i'm thinking about moving to a more enticing bait. something like say... chocolate. enough about the mouse though. i sold my digital guitar amp over christmas break and have used the money from that to order a recording studio for my room. i know that doesn't sound that spectacular. after all, i wasn't able to spend that much money on it. i'm a college student remember? you'd be suprised at the kind of quality you can pull out of a computerized home studio if you put a little elbow greese in to it though. what have i been thinking about lately? (sorry, i'm sidetracking) you know, to be quite honest, i haven't really had any astounding thoughts lately, which is different for me. most of the time i'm working on some new theory to prove... in my head that is. i don't really have to time for experiments, unless they can get me away from books for a while. back to the previous topic. i'm really excited about that recording studio getting here. i have so many ideas to put together. i also just want a chance to practice at it so that when i actually get into a real studio, i'll have a better idea of what i'm doing. it's just the kind of fun i like... ya know, i just thought of a thought that i've been having lately. all the stuff that i was doing before break just doesn't seem that fun anymore. i play videogames with my hall buds alot like a dork, and it's fun at first, but after a while, it just doesn't seem to entertain me anymore. i think i just need to give being here some time. i haven't really had any real work yet, but all of that will come tomorrow. i also think i'm going to take up reading as a hoby. in the past, i've always hated reading, but over christmas break i read my first novel cover to cover for fun. it wasn't that bad. infact, i kinda enjoyed it, so i think i'm gunna start doing more of it. as for now, i'm going to do a bit of reading and then i'm going to bed. hope you all are doing well and take care.

ah, today was a fine day, even though i didn't really do anything productive. i've left all of that for tomorrow. i woke up this morning for church, which i re-found out that it starts at 10:30. it was a good sermon about how we don't find Jesus, but Jesus finds us. anyways, if you recall my previous journal, i was briefly discussing how all the guys i know have been a bit girl conscious lately, including myself. today i got the bright idea to try to socialize with some of them. i found a girl at church who i thought would be nice to talk to, and usually church girls are fairly safe. my objective was by no means to ask this girl out on a date. that would be out of the question. instead, my motives were to simply introduce myself, find out a bit of information about her, maybe throw in a bit of "clever" nathan wit, and then leave with a feeling of manly pride, as if i had been on a hunt and had bagged a large woodland creature with my bare hands. as i headed towards her though, my subconscious awoke and took control. immediately i kicked in to rationality mode and i was stopped in my tracks by myself and all the logic that i bombarded myself with in attempts to prove that what i was doing could proove to be one of the most stupid things i have ever done. by that moment i was just about next to her and i began to fidget a bit. as a gazel down wind of a lion, she sensed my lack of confidence and she fled for the door and disappeared. i had prooved to be a wuss once more and i went back to the dorm, head hung low. fortunately i have been blessed with short term memory and i forgot about it in time to watch the panthers/mcnabb game which was beasty. carolina totally laid waste to the mcnabb team, as i call them, by laying out their star quarterback mcnabb. then i watched band of brothers with the guys on my side of the hall and went back to my room to write a bit of music. after that, i watched some tv, had some tea, and now i'm about to go to bed. i plan on sleeping in tomorrow until about twelve or so before i commence to complete the many tasks layed before me by my own procrastination. ... oh yeah, and also, i have this mouse in my room. he and i are having an understood battle right now. my wit vs his. see he was stealing some of my twizzler wrapping paper when i noticed him, so i put a mouse trap near his hiding place. in that mouse trap i put a bit of twizzler being that he must have aquired a taste for it while making home in my lovely little room. he will be mine by morning i should suspect, but he seems to be one of those higher education college mice. he isn't caught quite as easily as some small town mediocre high school student mouse. no no, he is enrolled in mice university. he could probably disassemble the trap that i have placed faster than i could set it. oh well... we will see just how clever this cute little guy is when i find him severed in two in the morning. i'm already anticipating that peircing SNAP about an hour after i turn off my lights... this is getting me excited... and tired... bye bye y'all.

so this weekend has been pretty neat. my room mate is on tour which is pretty cool, and i have the room all to myself this weekend which is pretty cool too. quite frankly though, i've been very tired lately. i slept for ten hours last night, went to eat lunch, came back and then took another nap three hours later. the only reason i didn't get twelve hours of sleep is because some guy below me was practicing double bass on his drums before practice hours. i don't know how he got away with that, but if he does it again... i don't know what i'll do, but he'll know he shouldn't have done it again. all this tiredness is simply a result of my lifestyle here at school though. i don't get very much sleep during the week, so i have to make it all up on the weekends. that's just the way it works. i don't really mind it that much. sleep is entertainment for me. anyways, this fake spring weather that we have been having must be taking its toll on the guys. all of the fellas i know have been extra consumed by thoughts of young ladies lately. we even got one who's gone as far as getting himself involved with one. i must admit... even i have been doing a little bit of thinking here and there. see, i know alot about girls. i know enough about them though to know that i have not even scratched the surface. that is why i, and most the guys i know, are still scared to death of them. i'm not going to get too involved in that topic though. that is dangerous grounds to walk on, especially at three o'clock in the morning, but what can i tell you that might interest you? i don't really know. oh yeah, i did get my books this semester for under $100. do you know how amaizing that is? it's incredible! my classes are also looking pretty good so far. i don't know how the work load is going to turn out comparatively to last semester, but we'll just have to wait and see on that one. as for now, i'm going to bed. i have to wake up in time for church tomorrow, and i can't exactly remember when it starts, so that's a problem. christmas break has done alot of things to my brain, but God will see to it that i make it through all of this stuff one way or another. i'll talk to you all later when i can find something noteworthy to report. later!

well well well... could it be that i have started a new semester? yes it is true. i had a wonderful break at home doin all sorts of stuff, but in short i suppose that mainly included working and hanging out. now i'm back to school. i have to try my hardest to take things seriously again this semester, but i'm sure i'll be interested in most of my classes. brian boggs drove me back today. the ride was long as usual, but we made it intact. everything was clean when i got here, which was exactly opposite of the way it was when i left, so that was refreshing. also, my bamboo survived my absence. i think it may have even thrived while i was gone the ungreatful little weed (i speak disgruntled because it was dying while i was here). anyways, at home got to see all of my friends. they were good times except for a bit of chilling information that i caught ahold of from some sources. seems that one of my friends doesn't care to see/talk to me anymore. i must admit that it wasn't really nice to be the last person to know about it. i was also stumped for the longest time as to what i did wrong. for the most part i treat all of my friends equally. i call for them or show up at their door, and if they aren't there i call until they are. i talked to one of them about this and they said that that's what they expect me to do, cause that's what i've always done. when i hang out with my friends, i discuss just about anything that comes to mind, and have never really had a problem with it, so i know it's not that. i guess i have just been missunderstood. i guess that's just the while life flows. it's funny though. i think people get this initial idea of who you are, and no matter what you do, it can never improve, though it can always get worse. i wonder if this is human nature, or a characteristic that we develope on our own. reguardless, i haven't given up on mankind yet. though this is a loss, it is also a lesson on self conduct or maybe the conduct of others... though i'm still trying to find out which, i know the answer is there somewhere. i suppose this opens up a new discussion on who i am. i find great respect for people who are courageous enough to, when they have controversy with someone, meet them face to face and tell them of their situation. i suppose cowardice is a trait that is engrained in all of us at one point or another. i'm not the biggest fan of controversy, but some people are consumed by cowardice. they cannot say no when they should, nor can they say yes. they flea from controversy because they fear pain. unfortunately pain is inevitable in life, though some are more prepared to triumph over it than others. and why do i speak as if i had knowledge of such things? it's because i was there at dead bottom of the courage meter once. i know that fear and how damaging it can be. well, i hope everyone has a wonderful week. oh and by the way, i'm not mad. it takes alot to make me mad, though i am a bit dumbfounded. God bless.