i have so many things to say, but none of it is important. this has been a common theme throughout my life and has yet to shed off of my person via the college experience. i'm not totaly weird though. i don't talk to strangers excessively, but if i know you, chances are you've heard me ramble on for long periods of time. today was my nap day. tomorrow it's death work day again and i'm not to excited about that. i went to all of my classes and thankfully they offered a little break to our weariness because we just finished semester quarterlies. my day started off by me almost getting hit by a golf cart after looking both ways before crossing the street. see, i took that as a good omen. i though that meant my day was going to be full of excitement and stupid adventure. that, however, was not the case at all... well, i kinda take that back. i did have a little fun and excitement here and there. in my music business class my prof. picked me out in private to act as a music publisher in class. he literally said i had to "act like a real a@s" some kids came with their songs and sat down and played them for me, and i was really heartless and mean to them, like they would in the record company. deep down i felt really bad about the whole thing and i hoped they would understand, but when i want to act, i can act really well, and i felt like i wanted to act today. a guy came up to me after class and said "gee! you make a really good a@s h*le". i said "thanks... i think..." after that i had to finish my history project. i got it done and turned it in an hour later. in that class, i sit next to a girl who's ... kinda pretty. we talk about class and stuff, and today she had come to class almost in tears because she was typing her paper and her computer crashed and she lost it. i gave her some instructions on how to fix it... AND... i gave her my number... i think she called, but in the excitement of giving an attractive girl my phone number, i forgot to tell her that i'm usually never home. i did learn a few things about getting a girl to ask you your phone number though. it's really quite clever. see, what i did was i told this pretty girl at lunch a riddle... and then i just walked away. she begged and pleaded for me to stay (which i enjoyed emmensly) and after i continued to leave, she asked me for my phone number. i was so amaized that she asked, i forgot to give it to her, but it's ok... i've got plenty of riddles to go around. now if you don't think i'm pathetic after reading that, then how bout this. i took a two hour nap when i got home from that class and then went to dinner. the only real meal i ate today which still wasn't very real... none of the food at the caf is. after that i came back and did some recording, but didn't really get anything productive done on the present song i'm working on. i did play guitar long enough to develop a bruise (don't check the spelling on that one cuz i'm pretty sure it's wrong) though, so i stopped. then i just hung out with the viking for the rest of the night. we watched some tv on his computer that he just got a cable for so he can now hook the monitor immage up to his tv screen (confused yet?). and we played (i'm a big dork) videogames for a while. it's supposed to snow tonight too, but it's still forty degrees and i doubt it will. after growing up back home i've learned alot about being able to tell how and when snow will come and stay. as for me, i think i'm just going to go to bed now. i don't really have anything else important to say, but maybe some day i shall. untill we chat again, peace.

well here it is. i promise this journal will have a bit more construction than the last. i was just really dog tired. not that i'm any more awake now, but i guess i'm just numb to the feeling. i bombed that psychology test tomorrow which was no fun, but now atleast i know how he gives tests. that's my greatest strength when it comes to test taking. anyways, i was going to tell you a story last night, but i just got too tired. i went to a meeting with michael w. smith yesterday. i'm in a club that gets to do stuff like that. it's called CMS. but before i went in to hear him, my frat brother scott and i went to use the bathroom. we walked over to the urinals and there was another guy in there. i started making wise crack bathroom jokes that had to do with releiving one's self and song writing. scott, on the other hand, seemed quite embarrassed because he didn't like involving strangers in jokes i guess. but anyways, when we went in to hear mr. smith, in walks the stranger bathroom dude that was using the urinal next to me. yeah, it was definitaly micael w. smith, and needless to say, i turned a few shades past red. anyways, he played the piano for us and did some songs that he hadn't released yet. he's a really nice and cool guy. did you know he has five kids, the oldest being 20? i knew he wasn't a young fella, but he just doesn't look that old! today was a different pace though. i managed to get through it and rewarded myself at the end by working on one of my recording projects. i also was dressed formally all day because one of my frat brothers had a death in the family and we dressed up out of respect. we also went to the memorial service that night, and it was the first open cascet service i had ever attended. i felt a little werid. i had never seen a dead body before, but i was there to support a friend, and that i did. after we got back to school, we had a formal frat meeting and then went to mafiaozas. it's a great little sit down restauraunt that we go to after our meetings. the food is good and cheap, sorta like la hacienda back home, except with italian food instead of cheese quesadillas. i just got home at 1 though and got out of my suit a.s.a.p. cause MAN those socks squeeze the life out of my legs, and they rub my leg hair. as for tomorrow, i don't expect it to be as hard. i'm coming out of the storm which was semester quarterlies. i have one more paper to finish and turn in tomorrow in history class and then i'm done with all that stress. i shall then proceed to take a nap, and speaking of which, my pillows are driving me crazy just layin there and lookin all lonely and sad. i think i shall go and keep them company with my skull. peace to all.

it is late. i have a psychology test tomorrow morning at eight. they are notoriously hard. i have to be dressed up all day tomorrow. i have to work four hours after my test. i won't get to take a nap. i'm going to be very irritable. no time to talk anymore. must get sleep. each minute counts. peace.

yep... there it is again. my next door neighbor caughing and the sound carrying itself to my ears as if there were no walls between us. mice? yeah, i think i have another one. i'm really getting tired of killing these things, but they have no place in my room, nor in this building. just as usual, it's very late. i'm seein two o'clock... there's that caughing again... yeah, two o'clock. tomorrow morning at nine, i have a speach to give on bob hope. yeah, i definitily wrote that speach tonight and i haven't even practiced it yet. i should be fine though, just as long as i don't think too hard about it... ah, and the sound of a mouse in my celing just broke the silence. well, maybe not silence. there's still the slight hissing of my radiator. i turned it on today just to get a small feel of summer. i also adjusted all of the pictures of my friends on my wall because they were getting all bent up from the constantly fluctuating temperature. productivity is my thing on sunday night. i like for things to be perfect the next morning when i wake up so that i can have no blame on myself if my monday turns stale. that means that i do my laundry (wash, dry, fold, put away) and i straighten up my room... wow, i forgot what cold dr. k tastes like. i usually don't keep my drinks in the fridge, but down by my feet. i really am that pathetically lazy as to where i won't even walk to steps behind me to my fridge for a drink. that's pretty sad, but that's also life right now. i'm busy. i don't really have much recoup time now. there's always the video games with the fellas, and the brief nap times, but i just want to be completely alone for a while. that's something i miss about being home. i could just get in my car and drive with the music on loud. no one would ever complain about it, no one would ever interrupt me, and i was never in one place for more than a fraction of a second, unless i was stopped at a light. finding alternate ways to blow steam isn't easy around here. i don't really even have time to record, let alone any creativity spuring out of the mental hell that is college. so there's that and with the high calabur food served at our lovely cafeteria, the body couldn't be happier (strong sacrasm). i guess i'm just a little ticked cause the weekend went by so fast. i can't complain really. i mean the weeks have been flying by too, but just for a while, i'd like to be able to pick a time that would stand still so i could enjoy it for just a brief second more. two things that i have come to cope with since i've been here are this. life will never be the same and i can never go back to the way things were before i came here, and time only gets faster. at this rate, by the time i'm eighty, a year will seem like a fart would seem now. very fast and unpredictable. maybe that's why the elderly drive so slow. they feel like they can control time in their car. or maybe with time going so fast for them, they in actuallity feel like they are going too fast. these are two pathetic questions that i hope i can never answer, because if i ever can that will only tell me that i've spent way too much time thinking about time instead of using it. right now i think i'm going to finish my dr. k. and practice my speech, then i'm going to go to sleep and pray for a deep one because i really would rather not have any dreams tonight.

peace

today was one of those days where you just wish it wouldn't end quite as quickly as it did. i woke up at 11:30 and then went to a computer show at the fair grounds with the fellas. there wasn't much there that caught my eye except for some cd-r's that i needed. they were very good name brand and very cheap. after that, it was pretty much dinner then work. work on weekends isn't much to talk about, cause i don't really do anything. if i didn't tell you before, on the weekends i work the desk down at the school recording studio. that consits of answering the door with a button if needed and answering the phone. other than that, i can watch tv, talk/surf on the web, or do homework for four hours. it really is a great job. after that though, we had a video game dorkfest back at the dorm. i'm not ashamed to say it, but yes, I STILL play videogames, and participated tonight in a video game tournament. it was fun, but didn't last too long. after that, i was going to wind down in my room by myself. i had my guitar out, and i was trying to record a song when all of the sudden i heard a rustling in my trash can. i was confused for a while as to what it was, so i went to check it out when what did my eyes behold, but a mouse. he was standing on his haunches looking me straight in the eye and testing the air with his nose. i looked back at him and gave him the name figaro, as the letter f was what we were up to on the hurricane mouse watch. i told figaro that he was cute, BUT... i was going to have to kill him. you see, he was stuck in my trash can, and at hearing my last words, he immediately ran under my trash, as if he was trying to run for his life from me and my threat. it was then that i went to gather all the other guys on the hall into my room to watch as i placed a trap set with a marshmellow (the favorite) in the center of all the trash. it wasn't long before figaro came out and started nibbling away at the marshmellow, but then WAIT! another mouse came out and joined him! we named this mouse galileo. figero's personality was very chipper, but galileo was rather... well he was just dumb and lathargic. well, at first the trap didn't work. they were both standing on the trigger and it didn't seem to go off, so i got some pliers and took the trap back out and made it more sensative. then i took all the trash out of the can and put a piece of paper down to make them more visible. that's when figaro snapped. he went jumping all over the place trying to get out of the trap when all of the sudden... SNAP!!! it seemed that poor figaro had jumped up, but tragically landed on the marshmellow which in an instant turned from a diliciouse morsal best served with hot chocolate to a tool of his demise. we gave him a proper burrial at sea (or in the toilet) and then returned for galileo. he was just sitting there as if he didn't have a care in the world, so i pushed the trap closer to him untill he was standing on top of it. since it seemed that he wasn't going to go for the marshmellow, i dropped a cracker on the trap and though for sure that i would kill him just as quickly. that would have been the case, but what came from that was a despairing squeek of pain because the trap had only snagged poor dumb galileo's leg. he was still not to clever though because he then started trying to eat the marshmellow. i felt bad that i had not killed him instantly, so i went into my room to fetch my hammer. my purpose was to put him out of his pain, but instead i think i just made things worse. i think i gave him five forcefull blows to the head before one of his eyeballs popped out and he started bleading out of his ears. that was the end of poor poor galileo. he shall be remembered always. and a great lesson has been learned. and by the way... my spelling is atrocious!!!

valentines day is a funny day. it has to be my least favorite holiday for numerous reasons. first off theres the one where girls all the sudden start flirting with guys around this wonderful day. why? simply because they want something to do on valentines day. it doesn't mean that they actually like you. second of all, if you already have a girlfriend, valentines day can cost quite a fortune unless you are one of those rare creative types that can grow and harvest their own roses and coco bean plants to then process them into chocolates... then again... sorry guys, it's just gunna cost you money. the reason that this all came up is because one of my friends asked out a girl who was writing in her blog about how much she wanted a boyfriend, especially since hallow... i mean valentines day is coming up. so my friend got the guts to ask her out and she said no and then wrote on how much she didn't want a boyfriend. all of that tom foolery got me thinking. he then wrote back in his blog a form of what i like to call "blog-fu". blog-fu is when you know that a certain someone is reading your journal among many. you then will proceede to tell a story that all of your readers will get something out of, but the one that it is specifically aimed towards will know exactly what you're talking about. i know it sounds a bit childish, but it really is quite effective. anyways i'm done talking for now, but i might have something else to say later tonight. peace

okay, well this week has almost drawn to a close, and i've gotten more done that last week i suppose. i got my RA application filled out and turned in a whole two days early! that's pretty impressive for my work ethic... oops... i just realized that the ranch dressing i bought says "refrigerate after opening"... i've left it out for about a week now... oh well. back to the topic! i'm really just trying to get back into some sort of disciplined groove. it's hard, but i'll get there eventually. another cool thing about this week, but more specifically today, was that a few of us guys on the hall started a bible study. it is nice to finally have some accountability around here because not having it was beginning to ware on me just a bit. anyways, it's supposed to snow here tonight and a little bit in the morning. i doubt it will enough to cause any sort of stagnation in my schedule tomorrow, but who cares, it's friday! i don't really know what i'm going to do this weekend. the fraternity is going to be holding a table in the curb atrium and we're going to be singing, so that should be fun. i love singing with my fraternity. i suppose i'll also do a bit more recording over the weekend too. i really need to practice that stuff cause so far i've only put out one decent song. it really really is a new artform. the more i do it, the more i realize that truth. oh well... another thing i need to work on is going to bed a little earlier, so i'm off. i know it was a little shorter than usual, but not much has really happened lately. i'll see what i can get myself in to though... you know... to make the journal reading a little more interesting. see, i think i've lost some readers which doesn't really bother me too much, cause i'm mostly doing this to organize my thoughts, but still, i like to please those who still do read it. atleast i know my mom still does. thanks mom.
goodnight!

i suppose it is a good thing for me to take a moment out of my week and put my thoughts down in writing. of course, these thoughts are still selective primarily due to the fact that everyone in the world could read them if they wanted to, and i enjoy some means of privacy. it really does make me think, as well as put a worth on my day, as to what is important enough to note. today was pretty nice. i only had two classes cause my last one was canceled for who knows why. because of that i got to do a little bit of recording on my new home studio, which was great. i ended up putting four hours into it today, only to trash the whole project. i'm just very picky, and this is the kind of art where pickyness is ok. so far i've only recorded one song that i really like, but it is a new artform for me. it's really fun, even though i'm not that good at it now. i figure it's worth it though being that i will be doing this for the rest of my life... or atleast i want to. i know it's been a while since i wrote my last journal (about weight training), but that's just because i've been soar... extreemely soar. part of it is due to sunday early morning. yeah, some guy pulled the fire alarm at five am sunday morning and i had to go running outside in the 35 degree pouring rain wearing NOTHING but my pajama bottoms and wait untill they let us back in. the cold made all my muscles tense up and i had a massive muscle cramp all over my entire body all the next day. on top of that, today was arm and chest workout again, and these were my most soar muscles. so far i'm doing okay, but a night sleep tends to bring out the worst in things. another interesting happening today was chubb's birthday. chubbs is my RD and we all love him. we love him enough to get cowboy to walk in to his apartment at midnight with a boom box and start acting like a male stripper... don't worry, it was just acting... but it was hillarious! right now i must go to bed. it's supposed to snow today and tomorrow here (about time) but it's still 45 degrees, so i'm not counting on any cancelations tomorrow... i mean it was 60 degrees today here, and that's normal! there's six inches of snow on the ground at home, and it's 60 here?!? oh well, i'm just a little flustered, but i'll survive. g-night.

i'm finally back in to my spring time work out groove. see, i've been working out every day of the spring semester for the past three years just to keep physically fit and not quite as skrawny. the disadvantage i have though is that i can never look incredibly big as i have both a small bone structure, and hyper metabolism. i'm serious, i can't even digest animal fat, so no matter what i can't gain wait. this poses a problem in that fat is one of the key components in building muscle, so i don't have much muscle mass. also, since i cannot gain any body fat, though i get cut very quickly, my muscles also are eaten much quicker than most people's. this is called muscular atrophy, and it happens when the muscles aren't continually worked out. the only difference for me is that my hyper metabolism, when not having body fat to eat, eats on my muscles. this is why i enjoy working out. i just feel better about most everything. and though i may not be the strongest guys on the block, i can lift my body weight which is above average. enough about working out though... anyways, i'm extra soar tonight so i'm gunna have to cut this thing short so i can get a good night sleep. here's a secret you might like to know... i have no laundry detergent. this means that i've been wearing the same cloths for almost two weeks now, and the cologne i'm wearing is starting to loose the battle against the stinky that i wish to hide. i think i'm gunna borrow some from my neighbors tomorrow to get the essentials washed, but i should be going to the store this weekend. also, as far as my diet is concerned, i am cutting back on the caf. all i am going to allow myself to eat from now on is salads, soups, and cerial. the reason being is that i, and many other of my fellow dorm mates, have come down with pretty stubborn illnesses that we connect to the caf. why? because when we went home for christmas break, we were fine, but a few days after we got back... BAM!!! we were sick again. this has called for drastic measures. i'm thinking about even starting a club that might petition the school's food distribution. after all, i pay lots of money to go here. atleast serve me something BESIDES ecoli for breakfast and hep a for dinner! so far though, the diet is working. i feel stronger and more alert and, along with my vitamins, more prepared to take on the day... which is in just a few hours so i must be off to bed. tootles all.

okay, today... good day. not much to recap on. slept till noon, hung out with the fellas, got prepared for classes tomorrow... all that good stuff. it wasn't as productive as i thought it would have been, but that's just the procrastinating side of me, which i consider to be my more adventurous side. as for that mouse i was talking about last night... well... he seems to be more illusive than i originally thought. he hasn't touched that twizzler yet, so i'm thinking about moving to a more enticing bait. something like say... chocolate. enough about the mouse though. i sold my digital guitar amp over christmas break and have used the money from that to order a recording studio for my room. i know that doesn't sound that spectacular. after all, i wasn't able to spend that much money on it. i'm a college student remember? you'd be suprised at the kind of quality you can pull out of a computerized home studio if you put a little elbow greese in to it though. what have i been thinking about lately? (sorry, i'm sidetracking) you know, to be quite honest, i haven't really had any astounding thoughts lately, which is different for me. most of the time i'm working on some new theory to prove... in my head that is. i don't really have to time for experiments, unless they can get me away from books for a while. back to the previous topic. i'm really excited about that recording studio getting here. i have so many ideas to put together. i also just want a chance to practice at it so that when i actually get into a real studio, i'll have a better idea of what i'm doing. it's just the kind of fun i like... ya know, i just thought of a thought that i've been having lately. all the stuff that i was doing before break just doesn't seem that fun anymore. i play videogames with my hall buds alot like a dork, and it's fun at first, but after a while, it just doesn't seem to entertain me anymore. i think i just need to give being here some time. i haven't really had any real work yet, but all of that will come tomorrow. i also think i'm going to take up reading as a hoby. in the past, i've always hated reading, but over christmas break i read my first novel cover to cover for fun. it wasn't that bad. infact, i kinda enjoyed it, so i think i'm gunna start doing more of it. as for now, i'm going to do a bit of reading and then i'm going to bed. hope you all are doing well and take care.

ah, today was a fine day, even though i didn't really do anything productive. i've left all of that for tomorrow. i woke up this morning for church, which i re-found out that it starts at 10:30. it was a good sermon about how we don't find Jesus, but Jesus finds us. anyways, if you recall my previous journal, i was briefly discussing how all the guys i know have been a bit girl conscious lately, including myself. today i got the bright idea to try to socialize with some of them. i found a girl at church who i thought would be nice to talk to, and usually church girls are fairly safe. my objective was by no means to ask this girl out on a date. that would be out of the question. instead, my motives were to simply introduce myself, find out a bit of information about her, maybe throw in a bit of "clever" nathan wit, and then leave with a feeling of manly pride, as if i had been on a hunt and had bagged a large woodland creature with my bare hands. as i headed towards her though, my subconscious awoke and took control. immediately i kicked in to rationality mode and i was stopped in my tracks by myself and all the logic that i bombarded myself with in attempts to prove that what i was doing could proove to be one of the most stupid things i have ever done. by that moment i was just about next to her and i began to fidget a bit. as a gazel down wind of a lion, she sensed my lack of confidence and she fled for the door and disappeared. i had prooved to be a wuss once more and i went back to the dorm, head hung low. fortunately i have been blessed with short term memory and i forgot about it in time to watch the panthers/mcnabb game which was beasty. carolina totally laid waste to the mcnabb team, as i call them, by laying out their star quarterback mcnabb. then i watched band of brothers with the guys on my side of the hall and went back to my room to write a bit of music. after that, i watched some tv, had some tea, and now i'm about to go to bed. i plan on sleeping in tomorrow until about twelve or so before i commence to complete the many tasks layed before me by my own procrastination. ... oh yeah, and also, i have this mouse in my room. he and i are having an understood battle right now. my wit vs his. see he was stealing some of my twizzler wrapping paper when i noticed him, so i put a mouse trap near his hiding place. in that mouse trap i put a bit of twizzler being that he must have aquired a taste for it while making home in my lovely little room. he will be mine by morning i should suspect, but he seems to be one of those higher education college mice. he isn't caught quite as easily as some small town mediocre high school student mouse. no no, he is enrolled in mice university. he could probably disassemble the trap that i have placed faster than i could set it. oh well... we will see just how clever this cute little guy is when i find him severed in two in the morning. i'm already anticipating that peircing SNAP about an hour after i turn off my lights... this is getting me excited... and tired... bye bye y'all.

so this weekend has been pretty neat. my room mate is on tour which is pretty cool, and i have the room all to myself this weekend which is pretty cool too. quite frankly though, i've been very tired lately. i slept for ten hours last night, went to eat lunch, came back and then took another nap three hours later. the only reason i didn't get twelve hours of sleep is because some guy below me was practicing double bass on his drums before practice hours. i don't know how he got away with that, but if he does it again... i don't know what i'll do, but he'll know he shouldn't have done it again. all this tiredness is simply a result of my lifestyle here at school though. i don't get very much sleep during the week, so i have to make it all up on the weekends. that's just the way it works. i don't really mind it that much. sleep is entertainment for me. anyways, this fake spring weather that we have been having must be taking its toll on the guys. all of the fellas i know have been extra consumed by thoughts of young ladies lately. we even got one who's gone as far as getting himself involved with one. i must admit... even i have been doing a little bit of thinking here and there. see, i know alot about girls. i know enough about them though to know that i have not even scratched the surface. that is why i, and most the guys i know, are still scared to death of them. i'm not going to get too involved in that topic though. that is dangerous grounds to walk on, especially at three o'clock in the morning, but what can i tell you that might interest you? i don't really know. oh yeah, i did get my books this semester for under $100. do you know how amaizing that is? it's incredible! my classes are also looking pretty good so far. i don't know how the work load is going to turn out comparatively to last semester, but we'll just have to wait and see on that one. as for now, i'm going to bed. i have to wake up in time for church tomorrow, and i can't exactly remember when it starts, so that's a problem. christmas break has done alot of things to my brain, but God will see to it that i make it through all of this stuff one way or another. i'll talk to you all later when i can find something noteworthy to report. later!

well well well... could it be that i have started a new semester? yes it is true. i had a wonderful break at home doin all sorts of stuff, but in short i suppose that mainly included working and hanging out. now i'm back to school. i have to try my hardest to take things seriously again this semester, but i'm sure i'll be interested in most of my classes. brian boggs drove me back today. the ride was long as usual, but we made it intact. everything was clean when i got here, which was exactly opposite of the way it was when i left, so that was refreshing. also, my bamboo survived my absence. i think it may have even thrived while i was gone the ungreatful little weed (i speak disgruntled because it was dying while i was here). anyways, at home got to see all of my friends. they were good times except for a bit of chilling information that i caught ahold of from some sources. seems that one of my friends doesn't care to see/talk to me anymore. i must admit that it wasn't really nice to be the last person to know about it. i was also stumped for the longest time as to what i did wrong. for the most part i treat all of my friends equally. i call for them or show up at their door, and if they aren't there i call until they are. i talked to one of them about this and they said that that's what they expect me to do, cause that's what i've always done. when i hang out with my friends, i discuss just about anything that comes to mind, and have never really had a problem with it, so i know it's not that. i guess i have just been missunderstood. i guess that's just the while life flows. it's funny though. i think people get this initial idea of who you are, and no matter what you do, it can never improve, though it can always get worse. i wonder if this is human nature, or a characteristic that we develope on our own. reguardless, i haven't given up on mankind yet. though this is a loss, it is also a lesson on self conduct or maybe the conduct of others... though i'm still trying to find out which, i know the answer is there somewhere. i suppose this opens up a new discussion on who i am. i find great respect for people who are courageous enough to, when they have controversy with someone, meet them face to face and tell them of their situation. i suppose cowardice is a trait that is engrained in all of us at one point or another. i'm not the biggest fan of controversy, but some people are consumed by cowardice. they cannot say no when they should, nor can they say yes. they flea from controversy because they fear pain. unfortunately pain is inevitable in life, though some are more prepared to triumph over it than others. and why do i speak as if i had knowledge of such things? it's because i was there at dead bottom of the courage meter once. i know that fear and how damaging it can be. well, i hope everyone has a wonderful week. oh and by the way, i'm not mad. it takes alot to make me mad, though i am a bit dumbfounded. God bless.

i guess the best news of the day today was that i'm done most of my classes. all i have left is one math class tomorrow, and then it's study time... i'm a little worried about that because with all that free time, it will be hard for me to dedicate any of it to studies, but i'll try my best. in other news, we got back to the ab workout tonight. last week i was sick so i couldn't really do it, but this week i feel as fit as a slightly congested fiddle. it was strange though. i just couldn't help thinkin about coach morris. it was the first time i've worked out since he died, and he taught me every thing i know about working out. but now i'm teaching others. i just remember the way he counted out the repetitions as if he enjoyed watching us squirm. i don't really blame him. it was a pretty funny sight. it's bed time now though, and i really need to get some rest. i think that's been one of my problems lately... oh well... later y'all

today has been a great day. i woke up 20 minutes before church and i still got there on time, and after church they had a free bar-b-q. that, i must say, was quite a step up from the caf's sunday lunch food. they usually just server breakfast and cold pizza, which i'm not very fond of. i had a right mind to be constructive today too, which is very rare. i gave myself a list of things to do, and i actually did it. see, first i wanted to get my english completely done. i had that paper on the rhetoric of Seinfeld due tuesday, and so i finished it. then i looked through all of my english papers and found everything that i needed for my portfolio which is also due tuesday, and then i typed a 1 1/2 page paper on my reflection of the class and my progress. that was pretty much everything i needed to do. i'm not totaly in the clear though, cause i have to do a presentation on my paper tomorrow, but i'm not too worried. i don't really prepare for that kind of stuff cause if i'm interested in it, and i did all my work, then i don't really have a problem talking about it. as for my other classes, i'm not too worried. i think rectech might be a little tough, religion will be a breeze, but math is what is going to make me sweat extra hard this week. i really need to do well on this math exam to pass the class. the sad thing is that it's pass fail, and i'm still getting through by the skin of my teeth. i've just never been skilled at math. i've always depended on other means of solving my problems. so far, they've served me pretty well, but i must succeede. just a little bit ago, i had a great jam session outside. sure it was 31 degrees, but i just love playing loud outside by myself. i love to be able to sing when no one else can hear me cause i really just sing my heart out, but it was very refreshing. i also talked to brian online today. it is very rare that i get that opportunity, but his big news was that he bought some jeans. i'm excited to see him in some cause all the years i've known him, i've never seen him wear jeans! i don't know.i just think that's amazing. the only real thing wrong with tonight though, is the fact that i'm still up. it's 2:31am (never pay attention to the publishing time that the server gives, cause it's never right) and i have an eight o'clock class tomorrow. i'll probably find some time to take a nap tomorrow though. i'm sure i'll live. as for health, i feel worlds better. i still have a sniffle here and there, but i'll be alright. i suppose that i should fill you in on the most exciting news around the hall though... would you like that? okay then... i'll tell you. the big thing now is mouse hunting. see, the weather has gotten very cold and the little mice seek warmth and food. well, what better place to seek both than in a male dorm... the other night, i couldn't get to sleep cause aaron and superkev had a mouse in their room. they were making such a racket that i finally got up to check things out and what i found was them gloating over the body of a dead mouse. that was the start of it all. that was the night that josh funder was dubbed the name "fundercat" cause the mouse came from his room. the next night, burly mike brought a mouse into aaron and superkev's room that he caught in a bag of moldy bread. i thought it was ultra cool, so i started poking that mouse with my finger, and it managed to find a hole to leap out of into their room. needless to say, they were a little ticked cause they had to move all of their furnature to find it. burly mike and i decided to lend a hand by going to super walmart to get some mouse traps, so at 2am, off we went. we got back, set the traps, and went to bed. the next day, no mice... but last night, one was vanquished. now i have one in my room... fundercat had another one come out of his and run into the storage closet down the hall, so i put one in there too. i hope to find another dead mouse to add to the pile tomorrow, cause that would just be fun... till next time... bye bye.

hello my fans, sorry i haven't been loyal to my journal lately. it has been a week of much stress, complications, and trials, not just acedemically, but spanning through many different aspects. first off, yeah, academics have been quite difficult. i've got a week to get ready to end all of my classes. i suppose i have it much easier than many students, but it is still more work than i am comfortable with. on top of that, i was fighting the flu that my lovely sister had spread to me over break... well... the flu has won and i am in dire conditions right now. the thing that stinks about that is i still have to attend my classes due to attendance policy. finally, i have had to deal with a death of someone who i was pretty close to. my weight training coach, Coach Morris, died yesterday morning at 11:38 eastern time. i had him for three years, two of which he was fighting cancer. he always pushed me past my limits, and believed in my physical ability. most of my life people have said "you're too small to do this." or "too skinny to do that.", but he didn't see things that way. i remember asking him my first year to bust my tail cause i was tired of being a weakling. he looked at me and smiled and said, "don't you worry about that. i'll take care of you." and he did. i ended up being one of the most powerful guys in my class. (power, not strenght... power is a ratio of weight lifted compared to body weight). he also called me (in a corny way) his stallion cause i became one of the fastest and most enduring runner in the class. when i first got in there, i couldn't bench 65lbs and i couldn't do even one pull up. on my last day, i was able to bench press my body weight and do 10 one armed pull ups. he gave me confidence in my appearance, and taught me to press on through my breaking point. i remember praying with him one day that his pain would be releived. i suppose it was, or maybe he was just glad that someone cared, cause the next day he came in and was in much better weather. it's strange though that he passed so quickly. i had him less than six months ago and he seemed like he was recovering quickly. i will miss him greatly. death is a bizzare thing for me. i don't quite know how i should feel, and that is a very strange feeling in itself. i guess that's all i have to say. i'll try to keep more updated, but right now i can make no promises.

hey everybody, guess WHAT! ya know that web page i've been talking about for the longest time? well, it's finally up and running. now i'm not done fixing everything quite yet. it still has a long way to go. i just figured i would do it tonight and have it done with... now i'm not making any promises because i am a college student and time isn't exactly in abundance here, but i plan on updating it quite often. i want to give everyone a visual feel for what goes on in my life. that's pretty much all the website is. i also plan on putting some of my music on the site eventually, but we'll just have to see how that goes. i'm not quite sure of what html code i need to know to perform that task, but i think i have a pretty good idea. well, i suppose you're waiting for the address, so here it is http://www.geocities.com/guyandguitar19/ . in the site you will find a link that will bring you back here, so it's kinda connected in a way... after doin all that stuff thouhg, i'm gunna hit the pillow and never rise again... untill morning that is...

wow, that was a close one! i almost lost my entire blog over my forgetfulness and trusting in technology. see, i told my computer to remember my password to this account, but when computers get sick they tend to forget important stuff like that, and my computer just got sick... well, moving on, i'm doing this paper on seinfeld. i got to pick the topic myself, and i was thinking how nice it was at first, but now i'm in over my head. i have no idea where to go from here. how exactly do you research a television show? or i guess a better question would be, "what do i want to discover through this topic?" i honestly just like seinfeld, but my paper is coming along. as for school, i've learned to cope with all the stress. i suppose i have no other choice. life never gets easier, it only has vacations (which i wouldn't mind having about now). in a related topic, the closest thing to my heart right now is getting home for thanksgiving. i just want a chance to catch up with myself and see everybody. this time, i'll probably get to see most of my friends. i say most, because i know i won't be able to see all of them :(. well... i guess something bright to look at would be God's answering of my many prayers this week. He has been showing me a great deal of room for improvement in my life, which for the first time, i'm finally being able to stick to the discipline it takes to pull through on that kind of stuff. for the most part right now... life is just good. i can't say that it is easy, but it is good. the thoughts that have been consuming much of my time lately have been focused on self improvement and God's promises coming true. i am really feeling like my life is going in the right direction right now. the clouds are also parting in a sense. not that the work load at school is getting any lighter or anything, but all i really have to say is God is faithful. for the first time in a long time, i have stopped focusing on myself and have been able to see that truth clearly. i guess the last thing i'm going to talk about shall be comical (or at least, i think so). my roommate sleepwalks. and that's not the whole of it because sleepwalking happens to the best of us. the trick is, i've figured out a way to make him sleepwalk. it is the funniest thing ever! you have to wait until he is in a deep sleep. you know this when you yell out his name and he doesn't respond. after that, you ring the gong (yeah, i got this gong at a yard sale at my church. it looks and sounds real, but it's just electronic). as soon as you ring it, he sits right up in bed and starts muttering really weird stuff. if you're lucky, he'll get out of bed and put on a show. i think it has something to do with the soundwaves from the gong interfearing with the brainwaves in his dreams that makes him do this, but so far it's worked every time. maybe i'll be famous or something... help pay my way through college. well, anyways, i'm going to bed (after i get all these ants off of my computer!!!). God bless you all, and have a pleasant (morning/day/afternoon/evening/night) (pick the one that best applies to you.

We (human beings) have a natural fear of danger, but have you ever stopped to think about how dangerous fear is? Well... I just did, and let me tell you about what conclusions I drew. Sometimes I won't do things because I am afraid of what might come of them. What fear does is it allows us to make up legitamate answers in our heads of why we shouldn't and therefore, we convince ourselves that the fear we feel is necessary, when most of the time (at least for me) it isn't. I find myself fearing stupid things. Most of my fears are based on past experiences of pain. I remember when I was little I used to love rollerblading down the sloped street in front of my house. It was one of the best things in the world for me until the day that I, in my confidence, fell off and got scraped up. How long do you think it was before I got back in those roller blades and went down that hill. It was years. I kept telling myself that the pain wasn't worth it and that going down that hill wasn't all that important anyways. I had scars to remind me of this. Over the years I grew more and more passive because I didn't want to get hurt. I was missing out on many things failing to note that God has created my body to heal itself. I just didn't want to hurt, so I solved the problem by not attempting risks. Well, eventually I grew out of this fear of physical activity when I hit puberty. Testosterown (i spelled it wrong because when spelled correctly, it turns in to a hyperlink for some sex drug... isn't that horrible? this is my journal, not an advertisement for viagra!) does strange stuff to us guys. With puberty, though, came a new fear in to my life which replaced the old. This is a fear that I still struggle with and still have scars from, but I am in the midst of moving out of it and into yet another phase of fears. When I was a freshman in high school, I was all excited about girls, so I got a girlfriend as soon as I could. I did not weigh the consequences because I didn't know where to begin. All I knew was that high school girls were hot and "sophisticated" (ah the innocent preceptions of the young). Well, later on I ended up hurting that girl really bad. The relationship got old and I realized that I was wasting time so I broke up with her. She was devistated for a long time and I didn't even really care. In fact, I recall getting quite angry at her for making such a big deal about it. After all, earlier on she cheated on me twice and I didn't complain. After that, I was on top of the world. I remembered what freedom felt like and as a result to reflect my mood, I died my hiar a lighter color (I didn't realize the symbolizm at the time, but it comes into play later). A few years down the road I met another girl and I became fearless once more. She was way out of my league, but I figured I would ask her out anyways. What did I have to loose? (probably alot)... I won't really go in to detail, but eventually she said yes and I was exstatic. I couldn't get to sleep for a few days I was so excited. I was like a little kid about the whole thing, but I was a happy little kid. Well, skipping to the end of that story, complications started rearing thier ugly heads. I was going through a very confusing time in my life, and the funny thing is, when I look back at it now, I can see how I became to her like my first girlfriend became to me, and that kinda hurts (Is that a run-on?). Well, as the story goes, I wrote her a song and was going to play it for her one day, but I was cut short before I even had the chance. I folded that song up and left it in the sound hole of my guitar anticipating that surely she wasn't serious (denial). Then I accepted it and learned how it felt being on the other side of the line. I was upset, but I didn't know what I was angry at. In my pain I grew another fear. I feared and started to be cold towards women. I think I may have even swore my life to celebacy (yikes!!!) but I know I diead my hair black in mourning (like a dumb little addolescent). I guess it was just the fact that she broke up with me while I still liked her, I realized that she now had a piece of me that I could never get back. This became my legitamate excues not to date anymore. I withdrew from society and tried to keep busy so that I wouldn't feel so torn apart. That worked for a while, but it was only a temproary solution. One can only run from their fears for so long. After a while I just began analyzing my fears. For years (yeah... years) I was tortured by questions of why. Finally though, I did some growing up and I made peace, but the scars are permanent. As I bear the scars from my restless youth to remind me of physical pain, I also bear scars on my heart that remind me of emotional discomfort (hearts take longer to heal though). Anyways, now has come the time for me to start really thinking about dating, but I admit that I have, through my fear, legitamized so many excuses, that I, in essence, am afraid to (choppy sentence). Metephorically speaking, I just took the bandages off, and I'm not ready to face the possibility of putting them back on. I suppose my point for this winded journal is to point out what fear really does to us. I'm not saying that you should go out and do the things you fear just to prove a point, because there are things out there that can damage you beyond repair (like slapping a bear cub in the face right in front of its mother... yeah, that would just be dumb). All I'm saying is that if you nurture your fears with excuses and run from them instead of straight out facing them, you will be lonely.
Hope you enjoyed my thoughts, and I hope they were thought provoking. I'll talk to y'all later!

I'm here now. Another day down and so much closer to Thanksgiving break. I really can't wait for a chance to get more than five hours of sleep... yeah, that would be nice. Tonight was my last night as a pledge too. Tomorrow I will become a full fledge Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia brother. Tonight was fun cause we got to do a scavanger hunt all around Nashville and... well... it was fun. This weekend we are going camping though. That should be sweet. I'm going to be cold as anything, but I'm ultra manly, so I think I can handle it. I still have to finish out this week though. I have math tomorrow, so we'll just see how that goes. It's getting hard, but it's almost over. I also have to get things straightened up so I can register for classes soon. I really don't want to get shaft ended on that cause I HATE morning classes now. I need and greatly value my sleep, so hopefully I will be able to work that out. As for life in general... I supose for the most part I am enjoying it. I still have mistakes from the past that haunt me on the occasion, but I really feel that God is finally whiping me into shape. I've gone through many test that I feel have made me stronger, but by no means am I done yet. I'm out for the night, but I'll talk to you later.

i'm too lazy to type in caps today. you will still be able to read this if i don't won't you? well, anyways, i haven't been keeping up with the journal lately and i wonder if you can guess why? that's right, i'm bussy again. it's not quite as bad as before. i have an english research paper to turn in soon, and i just got done having lots of exams, but i'm doing the best i can. the weekend was nice though. i got to do alot of stuff to just kick back and relax. friday i went ice skating with darren, matt, and scott byer (this is in alphabetical order and i will do so with all name lists as to not show favoritism, or i will put ladies first for the same reasons just so you know). we had a pretty good time, and i left with soar legs, but i learned how to do the hockey stop which i have been trying to do for years, but i just figured it out that night. i'm so excited! higher education as already begun eminating from my body as made evident from my learning hockey stops in one night. isn't that wonderful? well, friday night we decided to pitch a tent in the hallway and just sleep there for a while. i was out there for a little while, but then i remember that i really wanted to get some sleep this weekend, so i went back to bed in my own room. i didn't wake up until 1:20 saturday morning, which (even though i don't relly like sleeping in too late) felt pretty good. that night we decided to get a little athletic and go play basketball. the results weren't qute satisfying. i really need to get back in the gym and buff up again. i've got a few things to help aid me until the finish of next semester. see, i'm starting a protein diet with lots of fish and stuff. do you realize how cheap tuna is?!? it's also pretty good for a college snack, so all you not yet college students out there reading this, take note of that. aslo it is important to get a little protein here and there cause all the caf really serves is carbs... now that i think about it,... nah, never mind. anyways, ryan and i are going to start working out together. i think this year will be as promising in muscle gain as the last cause i've actually put on quite a bit of weight. continuing on in our little story, after that we finally went to see it. the last matrix movie ever! and guess where i saw it ladies and gents. WRONG!!! i saw it at the imax theater. that was the most amaizing movie experience i've ever been through. the screen was enourmous and there were so many speakers. they said that if focused correctly, you would be able to see the light from the projector used all the way from the moon! that's a big light folks. the movie was good, we came back, had sauna time, went to bed, i went to church this morning (very good stuff), ate lunch (yuck... cold pizza!) had sushi for dinner (which was pretty cheap... and pretty good), and then basically came back here and am now signing off. also, pray for my folks y'all, they're in guatemala for the week doing medical missions, so they'll need it. i know exactly how they will feel.

The big news today was the break in we had at Pembroke this morning. Third floor got lots of stuff stolen and I've heard through the grape vine that there is some master plan to catch this guy cause now he's been seen. I must admit from what I have heard that I will have compassion on him when he is caught, even though he does deserve to be caught. Of course (and I'm in a very philosophical mood right now) sometimes we all deserve to be caught. I think that in his mind, he has justified his actions to where his conscience no longer vexes him when he commits his hanous acts. If you think about it though, we all do it. Whether or not it directly effects other people as stealing does is another question, but we all do things wrong that we try to justify so that our conscience doesn't make us dwell on it. I do think it quite foolish that he decided to break in to a male dorm though. Male college students are among the most physically fit people in the country. We are at the prime of our phisical life, and we have to walk everywhere, so we are relatively all in some sort of shape. Of course, round is a shape... so I guess a better way of saying it would be that we most all have edges. I brag not on my muscles. In fact... I really need to get back in the gym. I did weight training all throughout high school and it felt so good, but now I don't really work out like I should. Also, with this protein diet (tuna fish) that I'm on, I'm going to bulk up in either muscle mass or fat mass depending on what I do with the new income. I have to punish myself though. I must get past the initial soarness of the first few weeks of workout. I also need to find a weight training partner. I know lots of stuff about training too, I just need the discipline to apply it. Other than that though, I got alot done today. I went to the store and bought envelopes and some cd-r's, but I still have to get stamps to mail my mom the Vanderbilt medical bill mentioned in one of my previouse journals (you have to keep track of these things). I also got my laundry done today which really needed to be done. I was re wearing alot of my stuff here cause when I thought about it, I don't really have anyone to impress, but it was getting too nasty for even me. You know (or maybe... hopefully... you don't) how when your cloths have that humid feel to them? Yeah, that means it's time to wash those babies. I did too, and speaking of cloths, I also got to dress up tonight for another formal frat meeting. I really like dressing up on the occasion. I just get this professional feel about me. Tomorrow is a new day though and the big recording day! The final product won't be ready until December 1st though, so I won't have anything when I come home for Thanksgiving break... on the other hand, I might... but don't bet on anything. I also get to see how I did on my math test tomorrow. Hopefully it will be good news, as I feel it might be, but unlike other subjects, I can never quite accuratly depict the outcome of a math test. I just don't have a feel for that kind of stuff. Well, I'm going to bed now... I must crush this ensamnia with my big stinky foot... and to think I was once such a morning person!

This day been swell! I can't think of one thing wrong with it other than the fact that I totaly fell off the top bunk backwards tonight and busted my back and head in a way that seems undescribable by human words. I also got locked out of my room for the third time!!! I think I'll start with this morning. The first thing this morning was eight o'clock rec tech. I wasn't looking forward to it, not because it's rec tech, but because it's eight o'clock rec tech. We had a suprise today though. Instead of a lecture, we got to watch a film on the production of the Sergent Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album from the Beatles. I thought that was super swell. Some more stuff that made me smile today was that my writer's block was finally removed. I haven't been able to write a song in quite some time until last night. I wrote one called "Can You Hear Them Fall?" It's about just wanting to sit alone for a little bit and think about a situation. It is in the fall, and a breeze is blowing leaves all around and I think about how those leaves were once attached to a tree which was the only thing in the world that they cared about. In their colorful prime, the tree let them go and let them fall, but as they did, they did it gracefully and made no noise. But "Roads are paved with better things, with better days and better dreams" so look on the bright side I guess. Once again this song, as well as 90% of all my songs are written in relation to girls, and I've tried to break from that, but on second thought, I don't think I will. That is what I feel and that is what I write. My second song called "Rainy Lullaby" is pretty much that: a lullaby. Of course I was thinking about a girl upon writing it, but you could take it different ways. I think this versitility might do the song a bit of justice, and it's also got a catchy tune and a hook for the audience. These songs, as well as others, will be available on my website as soon as I get it done, so keep an eye out for them. More happiness was brought to me upon the succesfull fixing of my boss's computer. I spent 6 hours trying to get that thing back in running condition, and I finally finished. Even more came to me when I learned that on my recording at RCA studios, I will be receiving the great honor of having Elvis's piano on my song! That is so awsome. Elvis recorded almost all of his songs featuring piano on that very one! That's not all though. Eric called me today and he stopped by. We took a tour and jammed around a little bit before I had to go to math tutoring. Pray for me that I might do well on my math test tomorrow. I will need it... and I believe it is someone's birthday today... so HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRITTANY!!! Now I'm going to get all showered and cleaned up (except for my facial hair cause it's NO SHAVE NOVEMBER!!!)(I actually have stuff to grow this year too, it's great)(I feel like such a big boy). After the shower we're having tea time, and then I'm going to sweet sweet bed. Talk to everyone tomorrow, God willing. Later!

This weekend was rather nice I'd say. Most of it consisted of sleep, but the waking hours were rather nice and entertaining. Friday after work I got to take a long nap. It was, of course, Halloween, so I wanted rest for that night. My frat was having a party and the only directions I got were across the street from a burned down church on Belmont Blvd. Well, Matt and I were thinkin "Belmont Blvd. isn't that long." or so we though. Anyways, we walked and walked for a good few miles at night, and found no church. We got so far down, we eventually decided to jog back cause we didn't think we would find it. Well, we got back to the dorm and I called Charles, one of my fellow PM's. He said that there was a burned down church on Belmont Blvd, so this time Matt and I went in his car. Wouldn't you know that the church was just on the other side of the intersection that we turned around at? Yeah, well we went to find the house but we couldn't find it. I suppose all for the better though. I'm not much of a party person anyways. We just came back and watched 28 Days Later. That movie was one of the scarriest I've seen so far in my quest to see a movie that actually scares me. It has yet to happen, but I admit that I did jump once. Anyways, I think I went to bed at around 3:30 and I slept in till noon on Saturday. That was FABULOUS! What was better though, was that two hours later I decided to take a two hour nap. In short: I was awake for two hours of solid day light. It gets dark awful early here. The sun goes down at about five and that's much earlier than I am used to, or maybe I just never payed it much attention until now. Later though, we decided to watch another scarry movie so Ryan and Scotty B. and I went searching around Nasville for a Blockbuster. We ended up getting Nightmare On Elm Street cause I always wanted to see Freddy Crouger. I think those 70's B moives are just swell. We also went by Wendy's to get some frosties, but I got frosties and frenchfries. Everybody thinks that's grose, but I really like em that way now. Course, I thought it was grose at first too, but once I tried it I was head over heels for them. When we got back to the dorm I had to use the bathroom, and all my buddies' rooms were empty. Anyways, I walked in to the bathroom and everyone was in there with chairs and all the showers on full hot. It was the most amaizing sauna ever, so I spent a bit of time in there before we watched the movie. I guess the big concern for this upcoming week though is my math test on tuesday. I really need to do well on it, or I may have to take it over again next semester. That would just be a waste of money. So I'm going to study my brains out in math for the next two days and see what I can see. Well, I guess that's about it for today. I'll be coming home in a few weeks for Thanksgiving!

Finally, I've almost made it to the weekend. I have gotten all my projects done for this week, and I'm about ready to fall over. Today wasn't too bad, even though I did have math class. I went in with the mentality to learn... and I guess I did. I also took a nap today and that helped out alot. For the past few weeks, I haven't really had the time to take a nap, so I know I'm coming out of the fog. The itself reflected my mood. I was a little bit cool in the morning, but then I got warm and sunny later in the day. Now I'm cooling off again simply because I'm tired. Going to bed early (in college terms) at 12ish is also really helping me to function. I will admit to you all though, that I have been very impatient with almost everybody lately. I blame it on several things... First of all, the weather. It has been changing from warm to cold and cold to warm for the past few days, so everybody has been a bit moody around here. Yesterday it was somethin like 52 degrees high, and today it was 78. That's quite a fluctuation if you ask me, and on top of that, it's been rainy. Normally I like the rain cause I spent so many years lifeguarding. Even at an indoor pool, if it was raining, people would be less inclined to want to go swimming which would put incredible ease on my job for that day. Of course, there would always be those one or two die-hard aqua fans who would show up even if they had to dodge a few lightning bolts to get there, but they weren't really the ones that demanded lots of attention anyways. Hey, and the weirdest thing happened to me just a few minutes ago that has nothing to do with anything that I have previously talked about (but if you know me, that's no suprise now is it). My smoke detector in my room just had a hissy fit and there was no smoke. It was the only one and then it just stopped. Nobody even farted! This isn't the first time that something like this has happened to me though. I was sitting in a parking lot one time, and all of the sudden, all the cars with alarms around my area just went off for a few seconds and then stopped. It was so weird! Maybe I have body oder that disrupts magnetic wavs in the air or something. This would be my best bet because I haven't showered yet today... Now that I think about it... HOW did I have a good day without my power shower!?! The shower is the place where I think and sort information. It is the only place where I go and pretty much rest assured that nobody is going to disturb me. At one point in time, that used to be my room. I guess because I grew up in a house with only one bathroom and everyone would always come pounding on the door yelling "NATHANNNN! HURRY UP! YOU'RE USING UP ALL THE HOT WATER!". That never really happened in my room probably because my room was located in the part of the house where you would only be wandering around if you had direct business with me. My room was like an attic i suppose. Not just because it was upstairs, but also because I kept it about as clean and uncluttered as you're average attic. I guess I'm just going to cap it all off by saying this: I've had lot's (more than one) of people talking to me on IM about my away messages and profiles because they've been hinting (or blatently proclaiming...whatever you want to call it) that I'm crazy about some girl. Well, I'm sorry, but this ain't no psychological study this time, it's just one of those times for me when I have to get stuff off my chest. See I don't really talk about that to guys, and I don't really talk about that to girls... Infact... I don't really talk about that to anybody. For the most part, I either keep it bottled up, write a song about it, or just type away. Not the best of options, but it gets me by, so just look at it, try to understand... or don't (whatever floats your boat). Well, anyways... tomorrow is Halloween and I need to get some sleep so that I can wander around like a little kid, door-to-door, and beg for candy... See ya'll later.

Good news for today. It was much better than the past few days. I think it's becuase I got some stuff out of the way, because that's been a big stresser for the past few weeks. I've still got some stuff yet to go, but I will overcome and make it to the top... eventually...The web page is really coming along, and I'm very excited to see it's progress. I feel kinda nerdy though because I'm really enjoying just typing away at html code. On a related issue, that came in handy today at work. My boss didn't have anything for me to do, so I was sent to the main office to find a task. The only thing they really had for me was, guess what? Yep! Web page design. I enjoyed doing that. I don't know why I like it so much, but I just do. Today was also a formal dress up for another frat meeting. I can't really talk about what goes on in those meetings, but I do like dressing up cause I get all sorts of attention from the ladies when I do... he he. I've still got a week ahead of me though. Tomorrow is Thursday and then Friday should be a breeze. I just need to work hard at math. That and I need to finish a project for computer fundamentals. I plan on dedicating this entire weekend to sleep though... I have desired a good night sleep for quite some time, but have yet been able to claim it. I'll talk to you all later.

Today was one of the long ones. I've just got sooo much work, and so little time to do it in. Math has got me sweating bullets. I don't like it at all. As far as my everyday life goes... well... everyone is in my room right now making all kinds of barn yard noises. That pretty much summarizes everything. Kevin let me borrow his digital camera for the past few days, and that means that I used it to take digital pictures. These digital pictures are now on my computer. Now I am in the process of writing a whole lot of HTML code to get a website up and running. It's going to be great, and it shouldn't be more than a few weeks... so look out for that. I think I'm going to bed early, but I still haven't finished my English paper. That's what we did in English today, we did peer group editing on eachother's papers. I'm not feeling confident about my paper yet, but I'll do my best. I really need a vacation. A LONG vacation. I'm running out of energy and it shows (aren't my journals getting shorter?) My weeks are just getting so long and repedative. I'm also just running out of stuff to talk about. Or maybe I've been too distracted to concentrate on the details of life. I don't know, but tomorrow is bound to get better! I think I'll write a song and dance and sing about birds and fields of yellow grain or something like that! That's sure to make me feel better... but I doubt that would make many people feel better about me... Oh well! Take care everyone.

Hey everybody, I know it's been a while since my last post, but I really have been busy, I promise. The coolest news was my weekend. I had a great one. Kristin, Brandon, and Phill came to visit me at Belmont. I showed them around and we had a good time, kinda like the good ol days back home. That kinda makes me miss home, but that's all part of the college experience. While they were here we went thrift shopping, we went to Mellow Mushroom, we walked down music row, we ate at the Curb Cafe. The last night, we thought it might be a good idea to camp out in the quad. We took a tv out there, some games, and a movie, and we all were watching Amadeus, but then the wind picked up and we had to move everything back in. We did just in time too, cause it started to rain right after that, but we still watched as much of the movie as we could (it was three hours long!). On a seperate story, yesterday felt great, but today was COLD! The good news is that I've got a coat for such occasions, but the bad news is that it's bound to get colder. Today has been really hard on me though. I guess I blame it mostly to heart sickness. I was even contimplating about going into detail in my journal just for the heck of it, but then I decided not to. I'm fine though, I just have had these spells for the past few years over something stupid. Don't worry about me, instead, have a great day until you read me again!

The world has finally slowed down temporarily in my life. Things have really been hectic since I got back from Fall Break. I've been fighting the illness that is going around, and I've been fighting the workload. Seems like tea time is the only brief moment of relaxation I have in the day. I suppose it's good for me though. If you think about it, life only speeds up from here on out. There is always humor though. With ADD you gain the ability to tell yourself jokes... and I'm not just talking about jokes that bring a smile to your face... I'm talking about jokes that make you bust out laughing in the middle of a math test (yeah, those kids). The up side is that you can pass time very quickly, but the down side is that nobody want's to hang out with that weird kid who laughs for no apperant reason. I do pretty well though as far as that goes. As for tea time... I don't know if I've ever told you about tea time, have I. Tea time is just that. Some of my dorm guys get together every night and we heat up some water and bring our own tea to drink. It's quite relaxing. The cool news is that Brandon, Phill, and Kristin are coming to Belmont tomorrow. I'm excited. I always enjoy having visitors. On that note though, I need to go to bed. I have a big day tomorrow! G-night all.

Hey everybody! I'm back to school after a very pleasant, but very short, Fall Break. I'm really tired right now after a long day's drive so I don't know how much I'll fill you in on. I suppose it all depends on how long that last little bit of cafeen holds out from that Dr. Pepper I just drank. As most of you know, I rode back with Jeremy, our (Pembroke's) kindly viking. We shared half of the driving responsibility because it's an eight hour trip, but we got through it both ways without any tickets (I'm sort of a lead foot if you don't know that already). Home was nice, though it had a strangeness to it. It was where I grew up, but I will never live there again. Life won't be the way it was ever agian. I had fun as a kid, and now that's all over. Having said that, it didn't really get me down as much as I thought it would. I suppose I just expected to be weirded out after having Grace (my older sister) go to and graduate from college right before I did. I am a mite bit further away than she was, but I see little difference. AIM has made long distances seem non-exsistant. I talk to people next door (becuase I'm too lazy to get up and poke my head around the corner or raise my voice) just the same as I talk to Brian in Hawaii. It makes no difference as far as communication goes. Seeing familiar faces was very nice though, and I gave Jeremy a proper tour of the whole town, or as I like to call it, "my little town" simply because I've lived there all my life. Another weird feeling that occured during my visit could almost be indescribable. It was like a rift in time. I felt like I had been there yesterday while at the same time I felt like I hadn't been there in a year. It's a town full of both good and bad memories... which I might be able to capitalize if I can manage to sell the movie rights. I had a good time though. The first day was the tour, and then my mom and I went to stay at Grace's appartment at Chappel Hill. My sister is a fourth grade teacher, which is pretty odd. I remember my fourth grade teacher very well, and I remember my sister as a little girl very well. Now my sister is a fourth grade teacher that some guy years down the road at college is going to remember very well (did you follow that?). The reason I went was to chaparone her class to the state fair, and if you know me at all, you know that kids freak me out. I don't know what to do with them and I don't remember how they think (I know you're already formulating some jokes at my expense on that note, and I hate to ruin your fun... but I already told them to myself and they aren't that funny). Kids, however, always seem to be excited to be around me. This poses a problem, and a problem which I am working on. The experience was fun though, other than the fact that I was druged out on Claratin. I do have mixed feelings about the fiar. I used to love them as a kid, but then I went once when I was older... and all I remember was that the air was strewn with a sort of negativity (is that a word?) and the ferris wheel seemed kinda fast. I still enjoyed the experience of being Mr. Crandell to her Grace's class. You know... I guess I'll just have to finish talking to you tomorrow cause I'm too tired to carry on. I must reserve these last few moments of strength to climb to the top bunk... TTFN!

To make a long story short... I passed my fraternity exam today, and I'm coming home tomorrow. I definitely need a vacation, but I really don't think that it's going to be near long enough... I suppose we will just have to wait till Christmas break won't we? I've got a to do list though. I'm going to first get a haircut. The last time I got one of those was the night before I moved in! Driving is also on my list because I LOVE driving. I also need to get a bunch of stuff together to bring back here. Things that will help bring more order and tranquility to my humble abode. I'm also looking forward to home cooking... I will never again make the misteak of buying a meal plan because I have never been so continuously sick as I have been here. I can't get used to the food. I would have thought that I would have had enough shots and have gone to enough third world countries to build an immunity to stomach trouble, but BEHOLD cafeteria food for three meals a day! There is no rival to such a minion as this! On another topic, I feel like I'm ready to explode. I'm not quite sure what it is, but I just feel strange. Maybe this vacation will set me back on my feet, but I don't know. It's really just a number of things combined. The stresses of midterms, the late nights and early mornings, the amount of socialization that I have been involved with. I don't know. Something I have been noticing around here though is that everyone here seems to be dramatically different from everyone I've known back home. Not always in a bad way, but I have to get used to it. As for my lady life (I know I'm making alot of exceptions in accordance with my laws based on personal information) I'm not really hunting right now which is weird. I've always been the one to chase and/or flirt, but I have not been compelled to do so here. I always get the pressure from everyone to date girls here, but I don't feel the need to. Society makes fun of people like me... but I see that as humerous. You see (and remember you are reading MY journal and thus MY opinions so take it or leave it) I don't really have a void to be filled by dating (which is why lots of people date) and I don't date off of curiosity (which is another reason why people date). I have seriously dated two girls in my exsistance and throught those experiences I learned the primary lessons of dating. How to dump, and how to be dumped. How- to get rid of someone that annoys you, and how to loose someone you really thought was cool. To me, right now it would be like playing with fire. (plus, I can't afford women, I'm in college). The only reason I would ever date a girl is to see if she were compatible with me for marriage. I think it's still a bit early in the game for me to be thinking about that, so I'm not going to despite what society and those stupid MTV reality shows say I have to do. Which leads me into my next topic. I absolutely loath MTV. Not only does it have nothing to do with music, but it is extremely repedative. The problem with this world is that there is too much drama. According to MTV, life is about getting drunk, getting laid, and then getting angry with the person you just slept with. Either that or feeding off of other peoples problems by pearing into thier lives. Where does this put our generation? We don't have enough problems in our lives without having to watch other people have theirs on tv? I've just known too many people who feel like life is one big soap opera. They constatnly throw themselves into situations that they don't really belong in or want to be in, but the thrill and the rush of the drama compells them. That is all I have to say for tonight. See ya'll after FALL BREAK! ... Wait wait wait, I almost forgot to talk about English class! Today we talked about our project topics. I'm going to be focusing around 9-11, but I'm not quite sure what to focus in on. As for Wednesday, we won't be meeting in class, instead we will be on-line talking about our and eachother's bloggs. That is partly why I went so personal on this journal, because of the point I wish to prove about journals.

Lots to fill you in on and I don't want it to be as lengthy as some of the past few have, so listen up. Last night was the big date night. I was quite nervouse/excited about the whole thing, because dates are just like that. Anyways... I guess I'll tell you how it went. Saturday I went to the grocery store and bought all kinds of goodness. First I bought steak, then some green beans, then some potatoes. I capped it all off with a some sauce and a rose which cost a little bit more than what I went for the at the auction, but (and I know this sounds weird and pathetic) I have a hard time not paying in excess for girls. Sure I know I talk about dutch dating, but I suppose it's just in my romantic nature (he he yeah). Here's how it went. First I went to church and then when I got back I immediately went to work at getting ready. Chubbs, my RD, had to attend to an emergency, so plans were a little off, but by the grace of God I got things done. First off I had to actually cook the food (yes... cook the food), and I couldn't get in to Chubbs's kitchen. This posed a problem, but then I summoned the assistance of Chris who let me in to his appartment so that I might cook the dinner for that special someone. This was not all that I had planned. Chris also aided me in blindfolding her and driving her around for a few minutes and then showing her to the room in which i had prepared a pleasant atmosphere of soft lighting, soft classical music, and nice red plastic plates (those and the glasses were provided by Patrick, my RA). Oh yeah, I also put on my tux for the first time in about a year. It still fits (big suprise). Well, once she got there we had the dinner that I cooked, which wasn't really that good. See, I cook best on a grill, and not on ovens. I even burned my arm while I was cooking. I'm not that skilled. The steak was dry, the potatoes undercooked, and the green beans were bland. Needless to say, I was rather nervous. I wanted things to operate smoothly, but wouldn't you know that I didn't have a bottle opener for the spakling cyder, which was the very first part of the date. After I ran around the dorm for a good while, I eventualy got one from my neighbor Aaron (who also lent me his cd player, and as you might remember from the earlier episodes, drove me to the hospital). Anyways, the thing I was most nervouse about was the conversation... I especially get nervouse when the girl happens to be gorgeous, but I've been getting better at that. I almost made it through dinner without studdering and loosing the convesation to nervouseness. After dinner we went on a nice long walk around campus and I ended it with a hug and I gave her what she earlier told me was her favorite food: cotton candy. I had a good time, and I think she did too. Today was nice. I didn't have work so I got a good long nap. I only had two classes also, so it wasn't too shabby. The big thing this week will be going home for the first time since I got here. Now I have to work on fixing that math test that I completely bombed. Wish me luck, and I'll talk to you all later.

Today was pretty good I'd say. I got to all my classes on time, and work. I also had a pretty decent time in all my classes. In English we pretty much had a continuation of yesterdays converstation, except it was more directed to the issue of compacting information into power point. It was good. After this... I went back to my room to relax. I heated up some chi tea and sipped it down to some soothing music. Then I went to religion class. It was great cause we had a one question quize. The answer was Moses... and we also watched a good portion of Chalton Heston's The Ten Commandments. After that, Matt and I went to the Curb Cafe with Matt to eat. I'm honestly tired of regular caf food so this was kind of a plus for me. After that I didn't really do much. I talked to my sister Grace on the phone, and then I went to Bible study and to a frat meeting. Now I am back... and am about to start typing my micro theme for English class tomorrow. Good stuff, but all they need to get better is a bowl of ramen noodles which I think I am about to heat up. I also get to sleep in tomorrow cause my boss is gone till after fall break, so I don't have any work till then! Good times, and good night ladies!

Would you like to know what I did today? Okay, well then listen up. Today wasn't that great to start with. First off, I woke up at 9:03... work starts at 9:00 on tuesdays... do the math. On a related topic, the big math test that I was studying for last night was today... and I failed without a doubt. The up side though, is that one of my frat bro's, Chris, is going to tutor me, so don't worry mom... I'm going to pass. Soon after the failed test, I went to English and it was pretty good. I got to express some of my theories (which I have alot). We were talking about taking a 100 page book and putting it into a 100 word paragraph (basically, summarizing stories, like cliff notes). My argument was that we regretably live in a world today that only cares about results. Employers don't hire you to think, they just hire you to do what you are told. In short, If you think freely from that of which you were told to do, and you mess up, you are putting your job in jeapordy. This bad little seed is put in our brains from the earliest time of our education. Honestly, tell me what grade school was about. The only thing that was important was the test you took, and the grade you made on it. Do you remember those projects on the poster boards that we so often had to do? I always did mine the night before, and in a hurry. The next day for presentation, you would see the posters of those girls that you know spent alot of time on theirs, embroidering it in rhyne stones and making pretty bubble letters with different designs in each. When results came back, we got the same grades. That was the nature of the beast of education. I'm not saying that this specific example applies in the work force because obviously she will be able to increase her rate of pay with the kind of presentations she puts out, but my next example does apply to the real world. Book reports: those dreaded book reports. It wasn't untill I got "smart" that I got good grades on these babies. Now, I'm not a cheater, but I do pretty well when it comes to finding legal loop holes. You know those AP tests where the teacher always said "You can't pass this test unless you read every page!"? Well, I found ways around that. My greatest ally in high school was a websight called antistudy.com. It has every single kind of cliff note ever written for most every book. NO LIE! I think I only read two books during high school... both of which I enjoyed, but when it came down to it, the teachers just liked the results of the tests on the books that I did cliff note studies on. I think part of that is because public school teachers are controlled by the state, so grades are more important to them. Here in college, grades aren't as important, and the teachers can really teach without having to follow guidelines. I in no way condone this, but it's how I see it. Let's finish of the day, shall we? I found out ten minutes before computer class that I had a paper due... I THOUGHT it was due thursday, but no. You know what I did? I was so determined not to have a bad day (grade wise) that I raced back to my room and typed that paper (a darn good one too, WITH a bibliography) in twenty minutes. That's a dangerous thing to know you can do (quote by Matt). I agree, but I ran that paper back to class, twenty minutes late, and nobody was there but for one lady. She said that class was cancled because the professor was sick! I hope she feels better, but I just found that incredibly ironic. I had to laugh... then I had to eat dinner, go to Refuge, go to the store to get groceries, and come back and have tea time and go to bed... Now I would like to appologize for that sentence because it was horrible and I would also like to go to bed... Later!

OH NO! I just tried to type this, but it erased, so here we go again! We'll get things rollin by first discussing the weekend. It was a great weekend, but I didn't get as much sleep as I would have liked. I suppose the highlights were that I bought a new phone (# 615-460-2338 ... give me a call)! Aaron took me to Target and we bought Chris, my roommate, a plunger as a gift. He isn't quite as fond of it as Matt, but that's another story. Another big deal was the cleaning of the room... It's big now... really! We can see the floor, it's decorative, and now I'm pretty sure the ladies will start talking to me. See, Tennessee and/or other girls don't really like talking to me, or maybe... I just don't like talking to them... After all, my heart belongs to the Sweet Carolina Girls! But enough about my insanely romantic life... Let's talk about English class for a moment. Today we discussed e-mail and how we should catagorize it. Do we like it? Does it mean as much as writing? This brought out a lengthy conversation in which no one was really right, but we all walk out with a good grade. If only math class were this way... I'd be doing GREAT! OH! I almost forgot! Me and the fellas stayed up to the wee hours this weekend playing none other than my favorite middle school pass time... NO! not Bond... it was Risk... Good times if you ask me. Aaron won, and so did Chris... Matt is stuck in a state of disallusionment because he THINKS he won. I however won first, so that makes me kind. They are but my loyal subjects. Jeremy... Jeremy just wanted Greenland... He's our hall Viking, and my ride home for fall break, so tell you what. Jeremy is an amazing person. He fixes computers, and his beard is the most amazing phenominon that ye will ever witness. It burns with the red of a thousand suns. It's all the rage amongst the ladies, but I haven't quite mastered that field yet. This morning was nice in a way. It was Founders Day for my frat, so we all went to the Pancake Place for breakfast... only at 7 in the morning! All I remember is discussions about girls... It was very early, and I usually don't talk about girls, but I did. I was talking to a guy from Vanderbilt about how I don't fight for the ladies. "I leave that up to the other guys." then he said "Well that means you're gunna be single. You have to be a lover and a fighter." I said "On the contrary, mediocre lovers have to be fighters, but when you can woo the ladies like me, fighting is obsolete." I then confidentally went about eating my omelete. Today was fast though. I went to class... worked... went to class some more... Jeremy fixed my computer... I went back to class... ate dinner... recorded some music... studied... wrote my online journal... drank my green tea... and went to bed.

Today was one of those days that's all mixed up. It had its ups, and of course, its downs. For instance, I woke UP, and then I hopped DOWN off of the top bunk (I landed safely, don't worry). But seriously, work was fine. If I didn't already mention this, I work for Dr. Bulla as a secretary. It's basic work, but I feel like I'm good at it, so it doesn't stress me out or anything. Sometimes the hours get long, especially on Fridays when I work four hours, but I'd like to leave it at this: There are jobs that are better, and there are jobs that are worse. Well... when I got off of work, my day pretty much started. My first class was Math. It is the class that I despise above all classes because I've been doing it for so long and I still don't understand it. Sometimes I feel like a defensless little lab hamster that is solving all sorts of problems, and the math gods, just to confuse me, constantly throw in an array of new laws and forms so that I might be eternaly lost in an abiss of numbers and symbols. To make things worse, when I was packing up to go to class, I realized that I left my $90 math book in the cafeteria... TWO DAYS AGO! One would think I would have paniced, but no... I no longer panic in situations like these, instead, I half expect them to arise on a regular basis. You see, I lack... what's the word I'm looking for... ah yes, common sense. I will leave things in places, and unlike most people, I won't even think about them until days or weeks have passed. Instead of getting all huffy about it, I simply stand back and smile at life. After math class I looked and looked for my book, realizing that if I could not find it, I would not be able to afford my frat dues. I checked the caf. and it wasn't there. Then I checked the book store to see if some foolhardy student had found it and sold it for a hefty profit. Thankfully this was not so... but still... where was my book? I eventually went back to my room to collect my thoughts and I headed out once more to the caf. explaining my situation to the workers there. When I said $90, they pulled me to the side and showed me this secret lost-and-found. I felt a sense of great joy and awe as the door swung open to this... this portal of mystery, and lo and behold... my books, red... beautiful (well... not that beautiful, they're math books). Shortly there after, English class was soon upon me. Class today was a discussion on arguments. Arguments are my kryptonite. I will make myself look like a complete idiot before I humble myself in an argument and accept defeat. We discussed how pictures can be a means for arguments, but my stance on that is that they aren't a very good basis for an argument because there is no definitive line drawing out the boundaries of the argument. It was a very educational time. We also got a new paper to work on which I will NOT procrastinate on! My next class was the next down point. Computer fundamentals was a drag. I got in there and immediately got my rough draft back for a paper we have been doing in there. At the top a note was written for me (when have lengthy notes at the tops of papers ever been good?). The note was odd because it scolded me for being ignorant enough to think that computers weren't around until Bill Gates came about and that the same went with music technology. Unfortunately, my paper was entirely written about the fact that both can be traced back to the Renaissance period. I only stated that Bill Gates was responsible for a huge growth spurt in the world of computer technology, so I don't exactly know what went on in the grading of that paper. I'll just do what is required though. After all, she's the teacher and I... I am a simple pawn in the game of higher education. You would think this would be bad enough (at least... I think you would think that it would be bad enough), but there was more. We had a substitute teacher and a pop quiz at the same time. Did we do something bad? I don't know, but my grade definitely won't forget this day. AFTER ALL THIS, I went to a convocation seminar at the Belmont mansion, in which they lured us in by telling us that it would be about ghost stories. This tickled my curiosity enough to get me there, but I honestly wanted to turn around and go home when I found out that it was a complete lie. The seminar lasted almost two hours, and about (I kid you not) 10 minutes of it was used for A ghost story. ONE, UNO, SINGLE! ... Well I have two defense mechanisms for when people waste my time. My first one might be to get very angry with them because NO ONE wastes my time! I know it sounds cocky, and I'm trying to get over it, but it's definitely one of my pet peves. The other mechanism is to fall asleep... which I did... and I still got the convo credit... (I really hope I didn't drule on that pretty girl sitting next to me)... Anyways, speaking of sleep...

Today was CRAZY!!! Where should I start? I don't know, but this is probably all going to come out in bits and pieces. I woke up at ten thirty this morning because I was planning on taking the day off to go get myself looked at by someone of the medical profession. In order for this to take place I had to call and make an appointment with the Vanderbuilt clinic, but I they couldn't see me until Monday! I just told them I was going to go to the ER at their hospital, so I did. I got Aaron to take me... in his Land Rover :) and I did all of the paper work and sat there for an hour in trioge (don't annoy me with your spelling critiques. I'm 19 1/2, I already know I can't spell and I don't need you to re-affirm that for me... sorry about that). Finally they got a bed ready for me and I got to go in and stip down into one of those revealing little hospital gowns... I cheated though, and left my underwear and socks on :) ...However, later on, due to the complications of my illness, I was humiliated anyways, and it didn't matter that I was still wearing undergarments... They are doctors with much more education than I, so mere boxers didn't stop them from striping me of all dignity. I wonder if they are sinister enough to actually laugh at my feble attempts to protect myself right before they enter the door of my room. Well... that's all you get to hear about that... I'll just entertain you with the other stuff that went on during this time. I basically did a great deal of waiting where upon I watched my first soap opera on tv. I was too lazy to get up and change the channel by hand, and there was no remote. I also passed a little time playing old school videogames on my PDA. This was not my first time going to the hospital as a patient, but it was my first time going by myself. It was pretty neat, but I wouldn't like to do it again. I'm feeling light hearted about it though. If you get to know me well enough, you'll be able to see that I'm light hearted about most things. It takes alot to get me riled up because I have a long fuse, but I've heard it said that the longer the fuse, the bigger the bomb, so don't test it out. I did have to come back and face reality though, which was a day of missed classes. I have an exam to make up on Friday thus far, and who knows what else I missed. As I close, I would like to give a special shout out to the two guys that looked out for me today, even though they did harass me about my visit. Aaron and Camren, thanks yous guys. Well tomorrow is a new day with new medication, and new things to laugh at, so I'll keep you posted. Here's a quick quote: "You never rest. Fighting the battle of who could care less."-Ben Folds.
Strange...yes, but applicable.

I am very sick... I am taking the day off to go to the hospital and get checked out... I will make sure to fill you in on all the details in my next journal, but just so I get credit in English for this entry... Today we discussed how much you can tell from some one's hand writing. It was interesting to see that most, but not all of the time, people were able to guess gender from the handwriting styles. And just for a note of optimism (though pain is more on my mind right now) the recording sessions have thus far gone very well. I am extremely pleased with the results and would like to thank all of those who helped me get it going. This is not the one that will be heard though. We have yet to do the recording at RCA Studios which will be in November sometime. There will be a full (and I mean full) band for this last take and then we'll do overdubbing, and the final mixdown. I'm very anxious for you all to hear it. I'm almost so excited I have even considered giving away the foundational meaning to the song and the song itself to the one whom I specifically wrote it for (don't you hate it when I put stuff like this in my journal??? I know you do... and that's what drives me to do it :) ), but the more I consider that and what could come of it, the more I am persuaded to take a more rational approach, and plead the fifth. NOW pleading the fifth seems like on of the better ideas i've had all day... good night to all and to all a good night.