Nathan's Thoughts: The New Beginnings
Nathan's Thoughts: The New Beginnings
Nathan's Thoughts: The New Beginnings
Nathan's Thoughts: The New Beginnings
Nathan's Thoughts: The New Beginnings
Nathan's Thoughts: The New Beginnings
Nathan's Thoughts: The New Beginnings
Nathan's Thoughts: The New Beginnings
Nathan's Thoughts: The New Beginnings
Nathan's Thoughts: The New Beginnings
Nathan's Thoughts: The New Beginnings
Nathan's Thoughts: The New Beginnings
Nathan's Thoughts: The New Beginnings
Nathan's Thoughts: The New Beginnings
Nathan's Thoughts: The New Beginnings
Nathan's Thoughts: The New Beginnings
Thursday, September 06, 2007
The Last Page of the Chapter
The realization has begun. College is over for good. This journal that I have kept for these four odd years has served me well in maintaining an outlet for me to relieve my jumbled thoughts. I've grown up quite a bit. I'm doing adult things now that I never would have foreseen when I wrote the first word on this blog as a freshman. It's just funny to look back sometimes and remember the troubles that I faced or the joys. Everything changes and I would have forgotten a good bit of it had it not been for my habitual writing. Now granted, my composition hasn't improved very much at all. One would think that by writing so much, I would have picked up a few skills here and there, but not really. But seriously, I look back and I'm so glad that I did this. I know that not many people have kept up with it as I went along. Some came and went, but I kept writing regardless. Proof, I suppose, that I really was doing this just to sort out my mind. It's all had its ups and downs though. I recall three deaths logged in this journal. I can also remember a few exciting adventures that decided to document. My emotions are logged quite a bit too... er... as best I could them tending to be so frantic and out of control.
I don't know. I had this grand ending for this segment in my life all thought out, but then I realized, I've already started the next phase. I've just been lazy and haven't really turned the pages here in my journal. Right now I have my diploma, ink still damp, sitting behind me. I have a well paying job with great experience, benefits, and growth potential. I have a wonderful church that I'm really beginning to fall in love with, and I have a girlfriend who's male dog, I fear, is more attracted to me than she is (long story).
But as I sit here, lights flickering (for some ominous reason), I can't help but feel a little emotion welling up. I mean this is one of the few proofs that I did what I did, but as long as it is, it's still so short. I don't know what to make of it. I wonder what I will be doing in ten years, who I will know, what kind of life I will have.
Finally, I owe it all to God. As fickle as I am, He has always gathered up my broken pieces and put me back together again. I survived college and still maintained a love for Jesus while simultaneously paying attention to my professors. That doesn't happen for many people, and all those excluded would call me ignorant, but I have no need or desire to argue with them. Love is my solution now. I know I sound like a flower child, but it's true. I just want to love people, not fight them, not bicker about "the gays" not vote republican or democrat for that matter, not have bumper sticker wars with evolutionists. I just want to love people and all of the pleasure and pain that such desire involves.
This is my last journal entry that I will be posting on this site. I will continue in a new chapter on a different page. I am satisfied, happy, in love, confused, prideful, sad, bitter, controlling, artistic, mindful, selfish, considerate, hypocritical, loyal, brave, coward, lonely, angry, friendly, beautiful and ugly. I'm Nathan Crandell, and I'm all of these things.
Peace and love.
(The new journal will be published soon. I'm going to bed now so I'm not going to stay up and make it right away, but I'll post a link on this site when I'm ready)
I don't know. I had this grand ending for this segment in my life all thought out, but then I realized, I've already started the next phase. I've just been lazy and haven't really turned the pages here in my journal. Right now I have my diploma, ink still damp, sitting behind me. I have a well paying job with great experience, benefits, and growth potential. I have a wonderful church that I'm really beginning to fall in love with, and I have a girlfriend who's male dog, I fear, is more attracted to me than she is (long story).
But as I sit here, lights flickering (for some ominous reason), I can't help but feel a little emotion welling up. I mean this is one of the few proofs that I did what I did, but as long as it is, it's still so short. I don't know what to make of it. I wonder what I will be doing in ten years, who I will know, what kind of life I will have.
Finally, I owe it all to God. As fickle as I am, He has always gathered up my broken pieces and put me back together again. I survived college and still maintained a love for Jesus while simultaneously paying attention to my professors. That doesn't happen for many people, and all those excluded would call me ignorant, but I have no need or desire to argue with them. Love is my solution now. I know I sound like a flower child, but it's true. I just want to love people, not fight them, not bicker about "the gays" not vote republican or democrat for that matter, not have bumper sticker wars with evolutionists. I just want to love people and all of the pleasure and pain that such desire involves.
This is my last journal entry that I will be posting on this site. I will continue in a new chapter on a different page. I am satisfied, happy, in love, confused, prideful, sad, bitter, controlling, artistic, mindful, selfish, considerate, hypocritical, loyal, brave, coward, lonely, angry, friendly, beautiful and ugly. I'm Nathan Crandell, and I'm all of these things.
Peace and love.
(The new journal will be published soon. I'm going to bed now so I'm not going to stay up and make it right away, but I'll post a link on this site when I'm ready)
Monday, September 03, 2007
Labor Day Weekend
That was a great weekend. I would love to elaborate on every detail as to why it was such a great weekend, but I'm exhausted right now. I'm about to crash. But church yesterday was great and Linzy got back home last night and we spent a good while with each other. I guess I haven't really let any of you know yet, but Linzy is my girlfriend. We haven't been dating for very long and our meeting was pretty random, but she's fabulous and we really hit it off. See, the thing is, she doesn't hold it against me that I'm a nerd. In fact, I think that she might just like me more for being a nerd. So having said that, she's a great girl, and I could go on and on about her, but I really am about to crash right now. Peace and love.
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